So I guess it's been a month since my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. I've been extremely busy since so I haven't had time to process it.
But now I'm starting to go over things in my head. He seems fine but I'm also two hours away and haven't seen him since.
We ended on "good" terms as in he asked if we could be friends and I agree to it and said multiple times we just can't work right now.
But I'm starting to feel the hurt and all I can do is think about all these questions that just don't make sense. I know I can't always get what I want but I feel like I need answers to some of them to have closure.
Is it ever ok to ask question about what happened to your ex I usually don't but I can't seem to handle this one.
Ex of questions:
-How did a stupid little fight go from that to this
-Why was it so hard for you just to talk to me
-Why didn't you listen to the therapist and continue to just blame everything on me?
Most Helpful Guy
I have "a few" years on you, and with that dating experience under my belt I'd like to offer my perspective. We all feel like closure will make things better for us. Even amicable breakups (one JUST happened to me) make us long for specifics. Processing a breakup and trying to move on from it always wreaks havoc on our emotions. It sucks; there's no way around it. And as you're experiencing, every breakup requires a different amount of time to go through that. We replay the relationship over and over in our head at various levels of detail. That said, you can't try to force deeper communication or resolution if it isn't there. Everything you mentioned points to your ex having poor communication skills and a lack of emotional availability. He may just not be mature enough to handle these situations the same way you do. There's your closure...this is why he wasn't the right fit for YOU! And in general with relationships, sometimes it's just better for everyone to move on. Do you REALLY need his friendship, or is it "back of your mind hope" you'll get back together? I'm saying this because I've been guilty of it in the past myself. As much as I can't imagine my life without a person after a breakup, miraculously I always end up moving on eventually! Just remember you had plenty of friends and plenty to do in your life before this guy, and nothing's changed. We date because we want to find a significant other, not to find a friend. Focus your energy on how you've grown and learned from the experience :)0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
To me i dont see the harm in asking if your both ready to talk about it. But sometimes we dont get what we want to know if the other person won't tell why. But I dont see the harm of it all I just dont know if it best to bring that up the 1st time you talk it depends what kind of person he is and where he at at this point. But I see life as i rather say how I feel then wondering what happen and having these questions in my head. It worth the try. If so go for it when you feel ready to ask. But keep in mind it may not go as you plan it to go with getting the answers.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE