My boyfriend and I cheated on each other? :<?

I suspected my bf was cheating and when my suspicions were proven factual, I hooked up with one of my guy friends I found attractive and who I'm pretty sure likes me.

Basically my best friend who is friends with my bf confirmed the cheating when she saw the other girl in his apartment coming out of his room.

There was a whole bunch of drama since he said she was just a friend and she also has a boyfriend, a long term one just how I am in that sort of relationship too with my boyfriend.

Long story short, my boyfriend and I met up to talk and confessed everything to each other. We decided to stay together but he his hurt that I cheated too and said he would sleep with me if I hadn't cheated back (double standards) and he also says he's confused whether he wants to be in a relationship or not but it sounds awful because his friends told me that he was supposed to break up with me the same time his fling and her bf broke up so I guess they can hook up without guilt.

In the end she chose her bf even though he practically begged her to stay and his fling even contacted me to tell my bf to stop msging her. He always tells me "just watch, she'll remember me"

I can't take it he admitted to loving her and her loving him and booking up several times in the past week or so

I only cheated to get revenge and I had to be really drunk. Now he's depressed and not eating saying he lost a friend. I tell him to stop or he'll lose two :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • You asked a question "Boyfriend cheated. Should I stay?". People told you to dump him, and instead you stay with him and cheat on him. You had my sympathy before, but you don't have it now.

    You cheated on him after he cheated on you. You no longer have the right to complain about what he did, because you're no better than he is. The only thing you've done is prove your a cheater too.

    That being said, BREAK UP WITH HIM!!!
    His heart and dick aren't in your relationship, they're with her, as evidenced by how he goes on about her. Meaning he WILL CHEAT AGAIN, JUST LIKE WE SAID HE WOULD! Just do what you should have done and end it.

    • Sorry for being an ass, but I really don't like cheaters.

      I still say you should break up with him though. This was about more than sex for him, he wanted to be with her. He will only stay with you until she comes back to him or until he finds someone new. at least do your self one favor and save your self from this future heartbreak.

      And please don't ever cheat again. No one likes a cheater.

    • Show All
    • it's just really difficult for me.
      I'm one of those people who can have more than one "lover" and give them equal love and attention and not feel bad for it and I've been controlling it all this time.

      I really like the other guy I've been hooking up with and now that my bf has called me saying he's going to try be sober for 30 days and not go out or cheat on me...and he's asking me to stop talking to my friends with benefits :( I don't want to... but I don't wanna lose my bf either... my friends with benefits is in the military and is leaving in a week for training for a couple months... i almost just want to stretch the fling until he leaves :( it sucks cos I think i'm beginning to have stronger feelings for more than a friend since he treats me a lot better than my own bf and spoils me so much more in and out of the bedroom.

    • As I've said, since your boyfriend has cheated on you and treated you poorly, I think you should end your relationship and move on. However, if you decide to stay with your boyfriend, under no circumstances should you keep cheating. You need to choose either your boyfriend or your "lover".

      As far as you being able to love multiple partners... that's fine, as long as your upfront with them about it, and more importantly, they're ok with it. (If you decide to go the multiple "lover" route, most people won't want that type of relationship. Which can make it hard for you to find a relationship.)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I'm sorry but when you try and dig your way out of a hole but digging more you shouldn't be surprised when you realize that you are only further into a sh*tty situation.

    revenge cheating is never a solution. I honestly think you two should probably break up and really reflect on how you handle relationships because nothing (100% nothing) you've described sounds like a healthy relationship

  • This is the most toxic relationship. So you guys basically try to hurt each other. If he cheated on you, you don't drop down to his level wtf. His cheating speaks about his character. You should keep your dignity and morality by keeping your head held up high and get rid of him. Unfortunately you joined him at his level. Thus you too do deserve each other. You two are perfectly compatible. This also suggest that a guy and a girl can't be friends bc your male friend did not hesitate to bone you when he got the opportunity

  • do 2 wrongs make a right?


What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should end the relationship. Cheating on you was very wrong, and cheating on him to seek revenge was very wrong too, whether you were drunk or not, you chose to do it. And doing that makes you just as at fault as him. Clearly, your relationship is not built on solid loving foundations. You need to leave him, and find someone who wants to be with you out of love for you, who will have self control around other women, out of loyalty to you, and who's behaviour will not cause you to stoop so low as to do stupid things to gain revenge. You deserve much better than that.