Why do I miss the guy who was bad to me?

Why do I miss him? We were never serious but involved with each other for a long time. He was very narcissistic and older. I always felt so attached to him but I always felt like I could never get him to love me...like I was just an object to him. He just wanted me for sex and was being a jerk so I left.

I'm glad I walked away but sometimes I daydream that I will meet him again and he will somehow magically turn sweet and caring and really see me.

Even though he was such a jerk that forgiving him would require he changes so much that it's not humanely possible.

Why do I still dream of this? It disturbs me a little bit.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have been left with a void to fill, and the fact that you put up with so much, your true identity has been locked away, and now that your free to be you, you find it hard with this void to fill where he was, but the only reason it is hard is because you are now healing the damage he caused. You now are preparing your soul for better things, but all your soul knows is the torment this guy put you through, so to move on, you need to realise that to get better, then you need to detox of the rubbish that once took residence in you. And what you cannot do again is forget your worth. Find a guy that's worthy of you, not you worthy of him, x


Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you have a relationship with your dad? I ask that because if you are not close to your dad it could be because he was like a father figure to you. If you don't feel loved by your father then you are looking for any man especially a older man to fill that void of a missing father figure type. If you are close to your dad maybe he said some of the same qualities your father and that's what you liked about him. studies have shown that sometimes we go for people that remind us of someone that we are close to example mom or dad. My now ex boyfriend was complete opposite of my father and that's what I liked about him. Fill the void by finding things that make you happy. example going to the gym, hanging out with close friends/ family members, listen to music or taking a bubble bath. you can't change anyone you have to accept them for who they are. someone who treats you badly you shouldn't be with. love your self first.

    • No I don't have a good relationship with my father. I have daddy issues and I have for a long time. Now that I left this guy I still long for another old guy but a nicer person who will respect me

    • probably because you don't have a relationship with your dad. you are looking for someone as a father figure is my guess. you are not alone in this a lot of women are feeling this way and men also feel that way when they don't have a good relationship with their mother.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Even though he is a jerk, he was still part of your life. So now there is a void. Sex is an intimate act you will have feelings for the other person regardless of how good or bad the relationship is/was.

    You left you did the right thing. Get out of fantasy land. He will not change. He is not worth your time.

    If you see him. Run. Run fast and run far.



What Girls Said 1

  • Meh.. It's your brains last attempt at making this loser, um.. Human? Lol.. He's probably just a regular every day run of the mill narcissist lol.. ? Don't give it much thought. At this point it's time to move on and find a normal functioning human male lol.. who does not have a psychological problem like.. narcissistic personality disorder lollolol?


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