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We are VERY uptight about sexuality in the states (assuming you are from the states). Christopher Ryan discussed how we are a society that suppresses sexuality and breeds warriors. And you end up with people who are almost violently possessive of the sexual relationships they DO have.
As he put it, 50 years of marriage with 1 affair isn't being bad at monogamy, it's actually doing a pretty good job. But we treat ourselves as naturally monogamous creatures, which couldn't be farther from the truth.
Mind you, it is certainly disrespectful. You are breaking a contract of fidelity you made with your partner. But beyond that, the crime is certainly inflated due to the intense stress and effort it takes to create such a relationship.
Look up "If you want fidelity, get a dog" by Christopher Ryan. You could get a link to the Sydney Opera House website. He goes into much greater detail on the subject. I myself have read his book of which the discussion is about.
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