by the way i'm 18 so it would be legal for me to live alone if she would have to go to therapy or something similar.
Most Helpful Guy
Similar experience. My parents split when I was 10 and I lived with my 13 year old brother and my dad.
Every day, my dad would come home from work and just sit on the couch crying. It went on for years...I mean YEARS. At that age, all I could think of was how weak my dad was, and I resented him for making the household a horrible place to be. The relationship has never mended itself.
You are older, and wiser than I was. At least you are concerned about your mother's well-being. I was not.
I think you will play a key figure in your mother's well-being. She has lost her husband of many years. You are only 18, and it may be hard understanding the type of loss that comes our of a 20+ year relationship. She will need to lean on you for support until she recovers psychologically.
I think leaving the household and having your mother alone would make things worse. She's not ready to move on so quickly, so you will need to be there until she is ready to start looking for someone else. I would suggest spending more time with her on activities to get her mind off things.
For example, maybe you can start having regular dinners at new restaurants. Check Yelp, and start exploring the Mom&Pop restaurants in town. This is a tactic that my girlfriend and I have been doing with her parents because her parent's relationship is doing poorly, but when we are around, they actually talk and laugh.
If you're into video games, have her try some. Nintendo Wii is meant to be a family gaming console and lots of older adults and elderly have adopted it.
Try to get her into group activities with other people her age. Who knows, she may meet someone new in time. I would not suggest leaving home until her condition has improved.1