I just sent my boyfriend's exgirlfriend a letter - How did I look?

For years, I always thought that she was the clingy one who didn't want to leave him alone and when I talked to him about it, he'd say that it was because she had a rough time letting go and getting over him. He made her look like the psycho, and he supposedly cut her off long ago.

Now I found out he was the one bothering her and she wanted nothing to do with him until she asked him "please, don't contact me again" (recent). She knew I hated her and oh my god, I wished her dead so many times for so long.

My bf and I fought, we'll probably break up, but that's alright. What I did though, was sending her a message, because I felt awful that in my head she was the worst kind of person, I swear I wished her the very worst. So I sent her a FB message saying something like

'i know you don't wanna hear from me, i know this whole situation is horrible. i just want to let you know that you're a very respectable person, very honest. We never talked, but in some way you were part of my life these past years and in my head i wished you the worst and now I know I was very mistaken. I know you never wanted to meet me (long story), but I'd just like to tell you that you are smart and deserving and you behaved very properly in this situation with this guy, who did a terrible job by making me believe you wanted to interfere in our relationship'

Something like that. I don't wanna create bad karma and if one day I run into her (likely), I don't want to come off as irrationally rude or offensive. How did it all sound?
I sent it to her and she replied very shortly after, and she thanked me for writing her and wished me the best. Very sweet girl.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounded as though it was from the heart.

    That being said, it wasn't exactly necessary. She may be the reason you're fighting, but she herself had nothing to do with the (potential) failure of your relationship with her ex.

    • Yeah. In some part I tell her she was never the evil one, as I thought. Thinking she was such a bitch I did tell my (still) boyfriend to tell her to fuck off, basically. So of course I'd feel bad if he ever did do that, knowing this was not her thing. I also told her to disregard the entire message if she wanted, no need to reply or even read. It was something I did to put an end to it. It might be selfish like this other guy commented, but I need to close cycles and I needed that done.

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What Guys Said 3

  • you did a very good job right there. now unless she makes it obvious she wants to talk to you again , just leave her alone

    • Yep. Nothing more than that. No need to.

  • Leave the poor woman alone. Your urge to rectify is selfish.

  • It sounds good


What Girls Said 1

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