I found inappropriate emails on my boyfriends phone. What should I do?

I was looking through my boyfriends (of almost 7 1/2 years) work phone (wrongly) but there has been a previous situation where he had kept a friendship from me so I was checking in. These emails were highly inappropriate on his work email to one of the people who send work calls for him (he is a plumber) when I confronted him about it he said he doesn't know what he was thinking and that he was "just talking shit" he swears he has never cheated on me and did apologize and swear it would never happen again. He called himself stupid and said he didn't want to loose me but I'm just not sure what to do.. Should I give him a second chance? If so how do I forgive him and forget? Need advice please!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ah as expected girls say leave guys say stay lol and guess if this question was asked by a guy then the answers will be the other way round lol

    My reaction to my gf if she thinks she has found anything 'inappropriate' is to try explaining it but I guess it never agrees with someone who has fixations and is prone to suspicion &/or insecurity lol. I have an immediate solution if the explanation is not acceptable - separate but guess she likes to hang on and keep bringing it up after years lol

    End of the day young lady, it's on you how you perceive and deal with it. There are a lot of things that happen that don't necessarily mean the way they're perceived but most people opt for easy ways out. Even if you think you'd like to believe & give it a chance don't keep snooping & suspecting all the while cause you'll only make your own life miserable. If you think you can't handle it then quit :)

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    • Thank you young lady for selecting my opinion the MH a gesture I wholly appreciate :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • well really just because someone sent him a email doesn't mean he did anything wrong (could have but who knows) but your looking through his phone apparently don't have and rust for him y'all should just cut bait now and find new partners you can trust

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    • The emails that were from him were inappropriate.

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    • I didn't give you a negative marking?

    • sorry my mistake someone else must have

      we all want relationships to work out but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way, wish you the best of luck

  • Stop snooping on his phone. That's how you fix it.

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  • What exactly did the messages say? It's hard to give advice when we don't know what the mistakes were.

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  • How about stop snooping on his phone where you may jump to conclusions?

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What Girls Said 9

  • OMG how revolting. Sorry you're dealing with this, but I have 2 guys friends right now crying on me over cheating gf's. You can't change them. Leave him.

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  • "It's easier to believe in lies, than the truth."

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  • No leave. You spend too long on him.

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  • Boyfriend of 7 years?
    Leave him.

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  • Leave. What else should you do?

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  • Give an example of the messages he was receiving. That way we really know what you're dealing with here.

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  • Oh my gosh. Get the F out of that mess NOW!!!
    LEAVE!!!
    Good thing you checked. He already has screwed up twice now. And boyfriend of 7.5 years? SERIOUSLY? I waited 12 for a ring, we are divorced now. And he also hid things.
    Don't be me. Don't waste your life.
    You are stronger than you know. So much stronger. You KNOW there's no reason to stay or excuse for his actions. I too looked for excuses, such as what you are doing now. I too was given false hope or made to feel bad for protecting myself for looking.

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  • Sounds like a basic cheater reaction. When caught red handed, they always cry and act as if they're upset, saying that they'll never do it again, that they're stupid, that you're the only one, that they didn't know what they were thinking, that they were drunk/high, that they're not cheating etc etc etc... yet, they'll keep doing it anyway because of the thrill.
    If I were you, I wouldn't let it slide. He was cheating on you, no matter how you put it. He sent inappropriate e-mails. Without even hesitating, since it seems like he sent a lot of them. I think that says a lot about what kind of person he is. One e-mail is a bit sketchy, but SEVERAl e-mails over the course of some time? That's definitely him making a very conscious decision of going behind your back to screw around with this other girl.
    Breaking someone's trust is like breaking a mirror. You can always fix it by forgiving the person, but you'll never forget because you will always be able to see the cracks.

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  • well you shouldn't have gone through your phone but stopping the behaviour now won't stop him talking to other girls inappropriately itll just make you ignorant of the situation.

    leave him if you can't trust him, stay if you believe him. he has no respect for your relationship if he talks to clients inappropriately and never tells you he did something wrong. he's only sorry because he got caught, if you hadn't have caught him this would have just carried on and on. there's no excuse for it, talking shit? why? whats the need to talk shit with another woman?

    what did the emails say specifically? you should have kept quiet and waited for concrete proof in an email that they did something because now he won't leave him phone with you, he will be more guarded and he will delete emails after he sends and recieves them.

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