Boyfriend stressed out and broke up with me?

Things with my now ex boyfriend were extremely great. We were stronger than any relationship I've had, and I've had a few serious ones. Two weeks ago, something happened at home. I live three hours away from him, so I couldn't be there to comfort him physically, but I did my best with the communication methods we have.
He wouldn't tell me the details of his stresses. He just said he was going through a lot and didn't want to talk about it. Over the next two weeks, he slowly shut me out more and more. The guy who two weeks earlier would send me cute texts every few hours was now going days without a word.
I went home for a few days to see family for Easter . He was busy with his own family stuff, but normally this wouldn't keep him from trying to see me. He didn't even make an effort. He said he was stressed and didn't want to see me like this.
Finally he said he couldn't do it anymore and broke it off. He said it wasn't fair to me and he couldn't be in a relationship right now. He said he felt lost and needed to find himself before he could move on.
This all makes me feel like the break up had nothing to do with me. That he still loves me but can't feel those emotions right now. And although I'm hurting I still have such a strong urge to be there for him. I don't know how to do that without making him feel weak, or without pushing him further away.
I guess I do hope that he'll get through this and want to start over. But I'm not sure what the chances of that are or how to approach the situation to make that happen.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry for what happened.. It takes a toll on you because like you said, you want to be there for him and would be, but he doesn't want it right now. Unfortunately, I think you have to give him his space. I personally don't believe in all that "needing space" to work things out and being in a relationship is an added stress. If you love someone and truly care, you make it work. He is probably going through a hard time with whatever it is that's going on. Just probably at a low point and one of those things that no matter what you say can talk him out of. I say give him a little space but let him know you still care. Not like how you probably used to.. Send him thoughtful texts or call him, but not so frequently. You have to look out for yourself as well and not allow someone who said that they care about you push you aside because of anything. Hopefully, he'll work through whatever it is that's going on for him and realize he needed you (and your support) all along..

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  • Was he going through something that u knew of that was a sudden slap in the face to him? If there isn't one thing u can think of then I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news.
    Uh I hate to say it but those are the signs of a person who's cheated. He didn't want to see u particularly over the holiday, he broke all communication and there's no explanation. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero. He can't face u bc he can't stand himself. He doesn't know what to say to u because he is a coward.
    I've come to this conclusion bc he has never once not relied on u for support and all of a sudden without warning he doesn't need u, doesn't want to talk to u and is bearing this cross by himself.
    Not unless u totally missed the signs from the things I stated and he started a relationship with another woman.
    Either way he's not worth ur time to even wait around for. He is in no way a man. I little boy would suit his description better. Lack of communication gives that away.

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    • I do know that the family issues he's going through has something to do with his older brother, who has suffered on and off with drug and legal problems since leaving the military. I don't know specifically what happened though.
      Obviously there isn't a way to know, but I would be extremely shocked if it was cheating. He was pretty invested in me. I have asked around to make sure I wasn't just blinded by feelings, and others seen to agree that he was very into me.
      As far as being a child, yes he's acting a bit childish. But that doesn't make me not love him and wouldn't make me not accept him again. However it would obviously take some time and discussion. If that ever would happen..

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    • No absolutely not. It would obviously be something we'd have to discuss. I'm no doormat, I have more respect for myself than to just dive back in and let the same thing happen again. But I am reasonable enough to give him a chance to explain. And if compromises were able to be made, then I'd love to work it out. This is all a big "if" of course.

    • Well it sounds like u have ur head screw on straight so I think u'll be fine in whatever decision u make. Just don't be rushed into making said decision.

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