Why can't I just get over my ex?

It's been 5 years since I broke up with my first boyfriend, and I still can't fully get over him. We were only together for less than a year, but I both admired and loved him. I've been in a great relationship with my current boyfriend for several years, yet I keep thinking about my ex. The relationship ended with very little closure, and although I had hoped we could stay friends, we didn't. Even after I contacted him a while after we broke up, trying to get at least SOME closure (he told me that we were just too different, to forget about him, and to enjoy my current relationship), I find myself missing him or thinking about him from time to time. It's not even that I'd want to get back together with him; I know that we weren't a good match. I just feel a mixture of anger, sadness, and regret about the way the relationship ended. My current boyfriend knows about these lingering feelings and has been very understanding of them. I honestly love him, but I feel terrible that these thoughts of my ex are still popping up; it's so unfair to him. I know these feelings might be caused by nostalgia and "loving the idea of a person rather than the reality", but they really bother me. I want to stop dwelling on the past and just move on. What should I do?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Is he your first love? And was he your first too?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Oh, that's easy, just grieve it out. Dedicate a week to the memory of whomever and send him down the River Styx. "Closure" isn't something you get from other people; it's something you get from facing reality and embracing it and pressing onward.

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  • Wow this sounds exactly like my relationship. It is almost as if I was your boyfriend, which obviously I am not. =)

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What Girls Said 2

  • the sex was probably great

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  • Break up with your bf. you're not being fair to jhim. He should be with someone who's 100% there for him. And you should take some time to work out your issues because you're not going to be happy unless you work out your ex issues

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