I think the guy I'm dating is still in love with his ex, how do I ask?

So I've been dating this guy for a couple of weeks and been on around 4 dates as well as texting and calling him. He's said in the past about how he's a relationship guy and that he does like me and has spoken about future plans like meeting his friends. I've even briefly met his mum. But recently I'm worried that he's not ready to be dating and is still in love with his ex who he broke up with 2 months ago but she was his first proper girlfriend. My main reason for this is that he shared this really deep status on Facebook which is obviously aimed at those you've loved and how you might not be perfect but it works etc.
I plan to ask to ask him straight out about this and our situation because I don't want to get anymore attached than I already am only to be hurt. But equally how so I go about asking this without sort of pissing him off?
I was going to ask him to come up to mine this weekend but I'm worried now (I'm at uni atm and I met him back home) I guess I'll know how bothered he is about me though.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "couple of weeks"

    Seriously? You don't own him. If your with someone who just had a breakup and they are hung up on an ex you should take it as a good sign.

    it means they are able to CARE in a relationship instead of replace and not give a fuck. But go ahead if you want to be a quickly replaced item go with a person who does not care about someone whom they devoted their hearts to.

    • Woah, I'm asking this because I CARE about this guy and selfishly I don't want him to ditch me because I am starting to really like him. I'm just worried that he's not in the right place for another relationship and that he should have time for himself. Plus I don't want to be messed around with if he's not over his ex and decides he doesn't want to see me, I think that's fair enough.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Unfortunately time is part of the success to relationships. Some people jump from one to the other, some need time. I have never had a relationship end happy. After a relationships is over for me, I usually want nothing to do with another one. Typically for many months.

    I know you like him, you sound like you want whats best for both of you. But you might want something from him that he can't give right now. You saw his Facebook page, you know where his heart is at, forcing him to give you an answer is not going to get the result you want. How do you ask him without pissing him off? You can't, he is going to take it as selfish on your part.

  • How do you ease into other subjects?

    Sort of talk about what's really at heart. Still liking people and missing people. Think of an instance where this happened to you, talk about that.

    You could ask straight up after that, just remind him you're interested but that you've got both your best interests at heart.

  • like this: "are you still in love with that cunt?"


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