Worst night of my life! Are shy guys even allowed to send out double signals?

My friend, his ex girlfriend, his older brother and I have been hanging out a lot lately. His brother's been really sweet, but kinda shy, and it took a while before he decided to move his seat near mine and talk to me, when we first met. When we talk it's nice because even though he's shy, his eyes are always looking deeply into mine, and he doesn't mind being physically close to me. He laughs at my silly - sometimes stupid comments, and he's intelligent. I developed a crush on him and told my guy friend. Something tells me he spilled it to his bro, but I'm not sure. Anyways, since then we've hung out and it's been alright, but he's a lot more distant. I heard him talking to his sister's ex so comfortably, and he kept saying how much his brother still loved her and that; "Now I know what my brother means. Nice to know we have the same taste in women" Like, right in front of me! Tonight, my guy friend called another of his friends named Chrissy over for a visit, and when she came into the room it was like all of his brother's attention went to her! He smiled, she gave him her number, I think. Once again, with me sitting right there! Not a word to me the whole night! I don't want to be mean, but I'm a pretty good-looking girl, definitely more so than her. I'd like to say he flirted with her because she was nice and had personality, but she was vile and gave me terrible looks the whole night - even when I was trying to make conversation and be nice. At the end of the night, I tried to slip away and leave without seeing him but he caught me and gave me a hug goodbye. What the hell? I'm nice, pretty, and obviously like him! How could he flirt with his brother's ex, and friend in one night, but still be so awkward and distant to me? He seemed to like me before. Help?


Most Helpful Guy

  • from what you told me this guy acts almost like me and let me tell you something trying to get his attention will be hard as hell. I think he just doesn't know what he wants in a girlfriend. choosing between you or his brother ex is difficult. when put in this situation I would spend days thinking about it without progressing into any relationship at all. I found that the only way to get thru to him is to be a blunt as possible. meaning you shouldn't wait for him to make a move instead you should try flirting more physical with him (EX. hugs, kissing on the cheek, ETC... ). and talk to him about why he hasn't asked you out on a date yet. when put on the spot he should make a decision. hopes that helps a little

    • Well, it's kinda hard because I'm used to being asked out, rather than doing the asking. I was going to ask him for his number, but then his brother and ex accidentally let it slip that he's going to be a dad in 3 months. I don't know why they hid that from me, because they knew I liked him. I'm 19 and he's 21, and I didn't know if either of us would be ready for that. So I flirted but tried not to get too close. I think I may have missed my chance :(

    • I know having to ask a guy is hard cause society has made it that guys ask girls and not the other way around. also I don't believe that you could miss a chance with someone cause they only way you could not have a chance if either he is married or in a committed relationship. so you can still have a chance with him you just got to

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What Girls Said 1

  • From what you say he has never given you any signs of liking you. It sounds like he was just having a laugh with you as a friend before, making you feel apart of the group and having conversation with you. He probably feels akward now that he knows how you feel and is not sure how to be around you because he only wants to be friends.

    The other reason is also because you are his brothers friends and brothers don't normally get involved with their sibblings friends as it can complicate things. The best thing to do is next time you meet up, just go and sit next to him and just talk to him and treat him like a friend.

    • I was thinking that too. But his brother seemed really excited that I liked him, and encouraged my pursuits. If he was only trying to make me feel like a part of the group, then why was he try so hard to be near me all the time when others were talking to me? And why was he so shy with me and outgoing with everyone else?

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