How can I make her feel less insecure since other girls keep hitting on me when we are together?

Over the years this girl and I have become best friends. I always went to talk to after a bad breakup or a fight. She never failed to cheer me up. But I never realized how much I was hurting her by talking to her about all of my dating problems. Because I didn't know that my best friend was madly in love with me.

She was always so good at hiding it. But one night about 3 months ago I had a really bad breakup and went to her place. We got pretty drunk and everything came out. She kissed me and broke down crying.

Then she confessed that she had been wanting to do that ever since the day we met but she knew that I wouldn't feel the same way so she settled for being my best friend instead. She started apologizing for kissing me but I stopped her with a kiss and we ended up having the most amazing sex. And I realized that night that I was in love with her too. I don't care if people keep telling me that I can do better because I love her more than any other girl I've been with even though they were more attractive.

Sorry for the long back story but I thought it was important. Here's the question

Last night we were at a bar and when she went to the restroom this drunk hot girl saw that as her chance to steal me from her. She sat in her seat and asked me why I was with her when I could clearly do better. I told her to leave before she came back but instead she kissed me just as my girlfriend was coming out of the bathroom. I pushed her away as fast as I could but she saw the kiss and ran outside crying.

She knows that the kiss was forced on me but she still wants to break up because she doesn't feel like she's good enough for me. It's not true at all but other girls are making her feel like that because they try to flirt with me while I'm with her. I never flirt back but she just feels insecure because it keeps happening.

How can I make her know that I will never cheat on her? I've never loved anyone like this before.


Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, I think she is a very lucky girl! More than anything, you sound like you really love her and care about your relationship. It couldn't get better.

    You need to compliment her, and not only when you are alone but in front of others too. If not verbally, just put your arm around her waist or just hold her hand, keep giving her sweet kisses on her cheeks. When other girls flirt with you, make sure you pointedly ignore them while keeping your eyes fixed on your girl to make her feel that there is no one but her in your life.

    Keep telling her she is beautiful and smart..etc. She needs assurance and only you can give her that.

    • I really do love her and I'm surprised that we didn't date sooner. We have been best friends for almost 5 years and just love doing everything together. But I think she thinks that I am just dating her because I would never do that because it would never work out long term if that was true and she would be even more hurt than if we didn't date at all. And I do find her attractive otherwise we wouldn't be able to have sex. She's not ugly by any means but she keeps comparing herself to my past girlfriends because she has seen most of them.

      I do compliment her all the time and usually kiss her in front of another girl if she tries to flirt with me but I think she thinks its still an act. I don't really know what else to do.

    • Her behavior is understandable. You were always this fantasy for her which she thought would never come true. And now that it has, she is having a hard time believing it. And you can't blame her. She is scared she will lose you after waiting for 5 long years.
      But all you can do is try and try to reassure her.
      I guess it hasn't been long since you guys started dating so give her some time. Slowly she will realize that it is actually happening for her, that you guys are really together.
      She will also get used to other women eyeing you up. Just as long as you don't respond to the flirting, she will be fine eventually.
      And make sure never to make her jealous of any girl even as a joke.

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What Girls Said 3

  • AFFECTION is the key! Whenever your out with her show her affection, just randomly put your arms around her, and kiss her on the cheek, or if you're standing in front of her, kiss her on the forehead, and if you really wanna make her tingle kiss her on the forehead, both cheeks, then the lips (girls die over that) show her that you're not afraid to be lovey dovey in public, but don't ONLY do it in public, do it when you're alone too because if you don't she'll think its just an act. But don't forget about the most important key: COMMUNICATION, sit down and talk with her and let her know all the reasons why you love her and chose her over the other girls

    • I really do show so much affection and have told her why I would rather be with her than any other girl. I've dated lots of attractive girls through the years and they are mostly all the same. All they care about is looking good and making sure people notice them. I just never really had nearly as much fun with them as I do with her. We know each other so well and she is just a really amazing and loving person. And its not like she is ugly or anything, she's dated her fair share of guys and they were not bad looking at all. But its just that she tries to compare herself with girls I have dated in the past and yeah they were considered "hot" girls but I am so done with that because like I said all they care about was looking good and I doubt any of them ever really loved me as a person like she does. That's why those relationships never worked out. But she has a hard time believing that for some reason.

    • Just keep doing it, she has to come to the point herself to realize that you love her and only want her, you can't change a persons mind, only influence their decisions, just be consistent. It's understandable that she feels that way, all women do and some poor and time but as long as your love never fades if you truly think she's the one for you, she'll see that and hopefully she'll come to realize that it's not going to change and gain confidence in you guy's relationship and at the same time in herself, she doesn't wanna get hurt in the end, but I can tell she needs to work on her confidence, we all do in this world today, sure people can say that so easily but it HAS to be put into practice, just give it some time. I say this all the time, life is about taking risks, you will never get anywhere if a chance is not taken, you live and learn from every situation, she needs to focus on the positive, which will bring happiness and not to far behind will be prosperity :)

  • Aww. How sweet !
    Indeed, people are so superfacial and judgmental when it comes to relationship.
    My sugesstion is try to compliment her and make herself confidence, let her know how beutiful you think she is, and also give her all of your attention when you are with her.
    Good luck !

  • Just show her you love her, surprise her with random texts saying you are thinking of her, or how you miss her, plan surprises, give her all of your attention, stuff like that


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