Her friend let me know she was dissapointed I didn't make a move. How do you make a move without making things awkward?

A good friend of mine (let's call her Stacy) had a friend from another country (let's call her Jane) visit her. The both of them were planning to go to the movies and I asked if I could join them. Stacy thought that was a good idea and also invited her boyfriend.

So now, it was me, Jane, Stacy and her boyfriend. Stacy jokingly said it was like a double date. The night ended up playing out sort of like a double date, but me and Jane were just teasing each other all the time. It didn't take long for me to realize that she likes it a lot to drive guys crazy with all the teasing and mixed signals. We would both take shots at each other and then laugh about it. It may sound weird, but it wasn't; it was a lot of fun!

After the movie, we went to get some food, where Stacy and her boyfriend told us they were quite tired and were about the go home. Me and Jane decided to go to a bar for a beer and I would drop Jane of at Stacy's place afterwards. Our time at the bar got dubbed our 'second date'. We had a good time, regardless of the fact that we only knew each other for a day or 2.
When I brought Jane back to Stacy's place, I told her I had a lot of fun, gave her a hug and said: 'We might get a third date someday!'.

Now that Jane went back to her country, Stacy texted me and said Jane was disappointed I didn't make a move! Stacy also said she had given me all the opportunity when I dropped Jane off. At the time, I hadn't the faintest idea Jane wanted me to make a move! I could tell Jane thought I was pretty cool, but that's about it.
Now, here is my question. Even if I had seen the signs, I would have had no clue how to make a move. Realize now that when I was saying goodbye to Jane at Stacy's, I had the opportunity to make a move (end of the 'date', Stacy wasn't around on purpose). Yet, I don't know what I should have done!
Should I have gone for a hug, then kiss her on the cheek, see how she takes it? I am at a loss here. What do you think?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Whatever you feel is right... a hug and a kiss on the cheek seems good to me, although I'm the type of person who would just want a real kiss at that point. Is Jane gone yet? If not, ask her on another date and do it right. Otherwise, you can keep in touch somehow and then at least she'll know you wish you would have made a move.

    • Yes she is. We went to the movies on a Saturday a she left Sunday. Thought she doesn't live *too* far away, I doubt we will see each other again soon. Yet is is perfectly possible!
      I send her a message on Facebook. We may chat for a while on there. It would be fun if she is into that!
      If not, then no harm done. I enjoyed the 'date' and that's what counts!

      All this did make me realize what my problem was. I am way too careful about making a move towards a girl. I am terrified I might do something she doesn't want, so I end up doing nothing. Now that I have realized this, I think I can throw all that (or parts of it) out the window the next time I find myself in a similar situation.
      What do you think about this; does it make sense to you?

    • Yeah, it makes good sense. And as long as you're not too forward or creepy, she'll be able to brush it off if she doesn't want to accept your move with really no harm. As long as you're not forcing her into something, you should feel free to express yourself and make a move.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm guessing if she's gone back to her country and complained you didn't make a move, she's not pining over not getting a peck goodnight.

    She was ready for a third date. At your place.

  • If she's joking about this being a date, you could have joked at the end that you like to kiss at the end of the date, and gone for it. Even lily9302 said she would have wanted a real kiss.