He's a flake. Should I get rid?

So I met a guy from tinder, ( I know, alarm bells going off already), just over a few weeks ago. I wasn't that bothered about meeting him initially but we ended up really hitting it off on the first date, we talked till the bar closed and he ended up coming back to mine, nothing happened though, we just kissed. He spent the whole of the next day at mine and he was already planning our next date. Since then he's been round to cook for me and we've hung out during the day too and had nights together that didn't even involve sex. However, my problem is that since that initial spark and wanting to spend lots of time with me, he's flaked on me at least once every week. He takes hours to respond to my texts, although he always initiates contact but sometimes this isn't after days at a time. Over a week ago, I got pretty fed up when he invited himself over after going out but he didn't think to invite me out with him. He's met most of my friends now. I tried to break things off at that point as I did start to feel like I was a booty call, sex started to dominate a lot of our conversations. I told him I wanted something less casual and I didn't like things where things were heading. He responded saying how sorry he was that he'd made me feel that way and that he'd like to continue seeing me. I saw him that day and things seemed fine. Since then he's responded even less and he's cancelled all the dates that he'd initially planned. He sent me a really apologetic text today as he was supposed to come over but he didn't message me all day, so I decided to just go ahead and cancel before he did again. I've been on other dates since he started to go cold as I've wanted to keep busy and not seem too needy. Annoyingly it's this guy that I really like though. Should I give him another chance or is this guy just not in to me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's not a flake if anything your the needy one and looking for attention.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Sorry it has happened to you.
    The guy isn't interested in you anymore.
    That's the drawback of online dating that feelings can be changed at anytime like a web page.
    Well I'm really surprised, Why don't you try dating in your real life?
    You're a really gorgeous girl (if that's you in your profile pic)

  • I struggled reading your story, but I made it through boring. This is just the same thing so many other billions of girls ask.

    "This guy doesn't treat me the way I want him to. He just wants sex. But I like him so much. Should I stay?"

    If he's not treating you right, then no. This is why guys see assholes succeeding and get pissed. You just said you don't like the way he treats you and he's only interested in sex. The answer is simple: move on. Why do you like a guy who makes you feel this way. If I felt like you did because of a girl, I wouldn't like her anymore and she'd be gone. So tired of the same questions and women putting up with shit and then saying," Oh no, but I really like guys who treat me right." Bullshit. If that's the case, you know what to do.

    • Right, sorry there wasn't enough adventure in my story there for.

      He's lovely to me when were together I just don't get his actions when we aren't.

      Guess it's that age-old thing of girls liking dickheads. Although I reckon you're shit out of luck.

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    • Well that's great. Based on those two positive qualities, I'm sure you're both going to hav a wonderful relationship together. You don't have to tell me how tedious dating is.

  • You met on tinder. Did you say specifically you wanted something more serious with him? He probably thinks you're not serious about you two. Communication is a two way road and over analyzing just leads to stupid irrational decisions.

    Talk to him

    • He messaged me this morning saying he'd been thinking about what I said all night. He said that he thought I was great and did want to keep seeing me. Then he also said he needs to work out what he wants and I deserve better. That's a pretty gloomy prognosis isn't it?

    • Sounds like he was hoping it didn't turn into anything serious. At least he decided it was better not to lead you on.

      Sorry :-/

  • how can you expect a date from tinder to be into you when you dont give him any sex?

    • He got loads. Said I was the best he'd ever had too so was alright in that respect.

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    • You're right. And I was starting to sound quite whiny. I've deleted his number and he won't be hearing from me again.

    • you are welcome.

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