Girl Rejected me. 4 months later?

So there was this girl who I was into. We started to text a lot, we went to dinner just the two of us, a concert, studying together etc.

Eventually I made a move and got the shy/apologetic sounding "you're not my type". At this point I essentially severed ties and just started hanging out with my other friends. This wasn't the best way to do things, I kinda hoped things would just fade away but she realized I cut her out and got sort of mad. Never meant to hurt her, just the way it worked out. Now I'm curious how she's been doing.

Anyways the point was I didn't like where our relationship was going and I didn't want to be just friends so I cut her out. It's been 4 months and I'm curious to see what she's up to again. Any ideas on how to rekindle or give it another go still keeping it perfectly clear i'm not looking to be her emotional tampon? (If she rejects me still I wouldn't make a big deal of it this time around I plan to invest very little in the 2nd attempt) .

Oh and we never fucked


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What Girls Said 2

  • mmm if you weren't her type back then (read: 'she would not fuck you with a stick'), how would you think you'll suddenly become it now? you did the absolutely right thing by cutting all ties, and i'd keep going on like that. if she ever found you 'attractive' now, 4 months later (and it's not 4 years.. people don't change a lot in 4 months), it would only be cause she's alone/desperate or in need of an 'emotional tampon' indeed. i would not try to rekindle anything with her.

    • You'd be surprised. Finishing up my first year of law school and I think i've changed more in the last half a year than any other time in my life (4 years of university included). But I think you're right, even if it did work out for me it would likely be desperation on her part, didn't think of it from her perspective. Thanks for the thoughts

    • alright but it sounds more like you want to 'get back at her' for not 'wanting' you the 1st time.. you created this pic in your head that once you're cooler in her eyes, you can just 'hit&run' to get your revenge. you even said you don't give a shit about her 'daily problems/baggage'.. lol. clear as the sun, you just like her for a bang and that's it. your pride wants to see her back and adoring. dude leave it alone, forget about pride.. there are other girls (maybe willing just to have a friends with benefits thing as you do)!

  • Often when a guy gets back in contact with you after months it's because they don't have much going on on the girl front at the time and just want to try it on. As soon as this happens a girl knows instantly and it's f****** irritating.
    If you really want to give it a go you should say look I just wanted to say I'm sorry about how we left things I was a bit of a jerk - then just build up the friendship again but let her know from the off that you do have a soft spot for her - don't always be at her beck and call either make sure you don't cancel other plans or arrange plans around her - make it clear you have a life of your own and won't always be available to her.
    It may be that your not her type but the best chance you have is by being honest friendly and straightforward - plus personality speaks volumes and is so attractive to women so don't underestimate it as often attraction builds through time and friendship.

    • You're right on point that I have a soft spot for her, but it's not out of desperation as you made it sound. Exhibit A: I haven't talked to her for 4 months and cut her out of my life with relative ease (this was after talking daily and hanging out a few times a week). My personality and being nice is what got me friend zoned last time, I'm trying to avoid that somehow this time around. But how can I be "straightforward" as you say without being ridiculously blunt and sounding like a jerk. I can't just talk to her and say "I either want to get with you, or just hang out with you in groups/out and about, but I have 0 Interest in talking to you every day and dealing with you daily problems / baggage" lol. There is literally no easy way to communicate that eloquently or in a non-offensive manner.

    • Oops that came across wrong - what I meant was so often it IS because of desperation etc that girls get tired of it and don't take it seriously - at least this is true with my friends :P don't stop being a nice to her just don't be a pushover..
      Organise a catchup or something and then be friendly and jokey etc - but say look I know we didn't leave it on the best of terms last time but it was hard for me because I'm pretty sure I will always see you in that way - that way she can't lead you on or say she didn't realise she was leading you on because shell have known all along how you feel.
      Plus as far as the different levels of hanging out go you've got it quite good, because obviously you cut her out for 4 months so can now have control over the amount you let her back In and meet up now - you don't have to state it - but just maybe only invite her to group things if that's what you want, or say no to meeting up one on one - filter the amount you see her depending on thesituation

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