I always feel like I'm bothering him, I never know when it's ok to contact him or continue convo. What should I do?

I know I'm not actually bothering him, but I don't understand him lately. He and I text mostly, it's just how it's always been. I'm definitely an on the phone or in person kinda gal because it's just so much better, but he initiated this and it's just what we do.

Known him since last year... lately he leaves my messages all day long. I never know when it's ok to talk to him. I start letting him initiate, which he does often enough. But even when he does, asks me how my day is (so simple but appreciated) and I respond in brief, and add a conversation starter, and I get ignored until the next day.

I initiated this morning and it's been hours now, no response. Asked him what his plans are as he's got the day off.

He used to send me pics of everything he was up to. I just end up feeling silly to have asked him this morning.

It bugs me so much that what I do is I just stop messaging him. Why continue to get burned if it upsets me? Then like I said, he initiates, I respond, ignored. Seldom do we get into lengthy convos like we used to. I try to facetime him as we haven't in a while and I feel like he's putting me off. Could be shy, as we've not seen eachother in a while (but we send friendly pics)/

I'm confused. And he told me he has feelings and distance is what keeps us apart, it's like- what is all that about?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • it sounds to me like the distance isn't just physical. you two are operating in different worlds essentially. I don't think that he's putting you off as much as he has other things he does and texts or sends pics when it's convenient. I imagine in the beginning he was much more reliable about texting back and forth, but as most relationships go text messages do sort of decline.

    I think you should find a non-combative way to bring it up to him. maybe just say something along the lines of "I know you're busy but I feel like a lot of times I send you a text and I'm left hanging". then figure out a compromise. Perhaps there is a time of day you two can devote to communicating. but it is difficult to constantly be at your phone and ready to respond to every text someone sends as well as go on about the rest of your life


What Girls Said 1

  • i think he must be having some issues at home..if u guys have been talking since a year then u must have a strong place in his life and i think u deserve an explantion as to why he doing what he's doing and there's no use of beating your self about it and thinking about worst case scenarios..cuz u will just feel worse..the best thing u can do for ur self and ur relation with him is to talk it out in person but if as u said its been a long time since u guys met..call him up or text him that this is urgent and u demand an answer from him.. also i think that maybe he is feeling distant cuz u guys dont meet often..maybe this thing could go on for another year but still these rough patches could keep on coming..you guys should plan almost wekly to meet someplace.. go to the movies or hangout randomly at a partyy or a bar or any common place you like.. that will surely strenghtn ur bond with himm

    hope it was helpful :)