Was your first break up really the worst?

The first guy I really loved broke up with me four months ago.

It obviously sucked at first, but after about two months it seemed as if things were getting better, I really thought I was pretty much over him.

But then two weeks ago we were got in touch and, well, ever since then it really seems as though I can't get him out of my head...it's like I'm stuck right back where I was four months ago.

It's pretty pathetic, actually...little signs of him give me the butterflies and literally make my heart beat faster.

I feel horrible, and it didn't really help that he got a new girlfriend two weeks after we broke up.

  • Yes it was
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  • No it wasn't
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's a combination of how long you've spent with them, and how betrayed you felt when you broke up. Generally if you date for two weeks and he just blows you off, it's painful but mostly irritating.

    However, if you've been together for two years and you discover that he's been cheating on you, but he still wants you around along with the other woman... if you can respect yourself enough to break it off, that will probably haunt you for another two years or so, and you might continue to have flashbacks.

    It's worse if you try to keep the relationship going and he ends up telling you he never really loved you, and he really loves *blank*...

    Then you want to commit murder. That's bad.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 6

  • The first breakup was more embarrassing. My boyfriend not only cheated on me but ran away with the girl. she was underage so it was illegal to take her across state lines. Her mother and the cops called me looking for them. Everyone at school knew. The second breakup was the hardest cause I was with him 2 years and he broke up with me and had a new girlfriend 4 days later. Broke my heart and will never be the same.

  • I think it's not the first break up that is the worst, but the break up with the person you care the most for. I wasn't that into my first boyfriend, I just wanted to have a boyfriend so when we broke up I wasn't that upset. But a year later I met a guy who really swept me away and we had what I thought was the most perfect relationship for 2 years. He seemed so perfect, I thought he would never hurt me. But he did, he left me to be with someone else and it was the hardest thing to go through. At this point in my life that was the worst break up, but if I find someone who I care about even more and things fall apart after 2 or 3 years (or longer) then that will be the worst break up.

    • Soooo.... what you are saying it is basically "time spent" with the person you are with will define "the worst break-up?"

    • Not necessarily, but the longer you are with someone the more involved in your life they become and harder it is when they are gone. But its also how deeply you cared for them and how strongly you felt about them.

  • With me, my first break up, I caused...We dated about two weeks or so...and it was nice, but we had been best friends before, and I couldn't get past the whole 'more like a brother then a lover' thing, so I called it quits. He was more upset then I was, and kept asking 'why?" and so on, we ended up not talking, and that's where we are still. But the thing was, I didn't feel bad about breaking up..I was more relived that I didn't have to pretend to feel that way about him.

    Now, my second ex...ugh, that hurt. With him, I confessed to him, and it took like a week to get him to answer me. We planned a first date for that weekend, but for the 5 days before that we were a couple, holding hands, the whole 9 yard. The first date was perfect, we went to a movie and held hands the whole time, it was romantic...at least I thought so. When we got back to his house he broke it off. That stung. For a long time. I just recently got over it.

    So basically, no my first wasn't the worst. It was the one where I was the 'dumpie' as it were...

  • Breaking up is an art. Some people are just better artists than others.

  • I feel like my first was because I had no experience and I didn't know wtf to do. I ended up finding a really cool, nice guy and I blew it because I just didn't get what was going on. I overthought things, I didn't trust him that much, a lot of things he did or said didn't make sense to me. And because of all that he started backing off and assuming I didn't really care that much and moved on to someone else. So it sucked because I know we weren't right for each other that the time, but now that I've changed and matured, we probably would get along so much better and that just is not going to happen. Definitely took a long time to admit that to myself and get over it.

  • I agree with BirdofParadise. Not always first break up is the worst. Mine wasn't. I liked my first boyfriend but when I got to know him, after a month or so, I wasn't really into him anymore. Maybe I even caused a break up and I was happy when he asked "So is it all over?". Believe me, there were things that made me run away from him and I was scared to tell him I'm not sure about our relationship anymore. So after some time of ignoring meetings and being moody he understood the hint. Thank god we broke up! Hallelujah! XD

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