Guys & girls: when dating a more experienced person. what do you worry about? what can he/she do to make it better?


The person I'm seeing someone is two years younger, has had no previous relationships, but is mature and has close friends and family - so I know that he is capable of forming healthy attachments. We are in our early-mid twenties. After expressing our liking of each other, he seemed uneasy. He told me that he doesn't know how to behave which in turn I "must think that he's pathetic". I assured him that I do not.

We talked about our past love interests and got to the topic of what we'd like to work on. I hinted that I'd like to be more emotionally available and communicative. I'm not sure if that set off a red flag as intimidating, too much emotional burden, or I'm over-analyzing. (I've been uncommunicative and placed expectations on guys I've previously dated, only to emotionally shut them down when said expectations where not met. Though it doesn't happen with every guy, I'm trying to move away from the unhealthy behaviour)

He's a smart, confident (in areas other than women), passionate guy who is very considerate towards his friends and family. I genuinely respect and care about him and I want to make this connection as natural as possible. I'm okay to be his friend if a relationship doesn't happen.

Having been used to dating guys who move fast (er) and with more experience, I'm not sure how to balance taking up the reins (hard to stop a girl from having fun) and giving him the space to be comfortable. I try to relate to how it was like dating my first boyfriend, but that was 8 years and 10+ partners ago. So any insights/thoughts are appreciated!

>> TL;DR:

Smart, capable guy interested in me but doesn't know how to date.


1. If you are dating someone with more experience, especially if you had none, what do you tend to worry about?

2. What were some things that a guy/girl who has more experience had done to make you feel more appreciated/confident?



Most Helpful Guy

  • You have to get him to agree to yu taking the lead, or there will be incessant conflict. It's good you reassure him he's not 'pathetic', since he will tend to feel he's not fulfilling the 'masculine' role.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm a virgin, so sex would make me worry a little bit.
    And to make me less worried, take it slow and be gentle I guess haha.
    But after that we'd 'practice' a loottt more lol

  • As a girl... I like to meet more experience person, and I worry that he freak out on my lack of experience haha
    "what if I do something wronggggggg O_O"
    "what if I kill the guy by doing something weird~~~~~O_O"
    "what if I crush him, literally~~~!! O_O"

    But I guess learning is gooooooood, probably compliments would make me feel more confident :)