Help am I being reasonable or not?

So the financial situation of my boyfriend isn't that great at the moment and as his gf I try to chip in as much as I can e.g. if I'm feeling hungry and in need of a quick snack and I'm with my boyfriend I always buy him something to eat as well. When we go on a date I pay at least half of the total costs. When I have time I sometimes cook for him, or when we see a clothing item that would look nice on him (or actually if I think looks nice on him hehe trust me I have a good taste, he always gets compliments and like the stuff I like for him as well) if its not too expensive I'll buy it for him.

So his financial situation is not that stable these past few months, but today he mentioned a 4day vacation (transportation and accomodation included) for about 100 per person, which isn't a bad deal at all in those 4 days maybe another 40euro on food so it will not be an expensive vacation. BUT my boyfriend financial situation is at a point that he even has to budget his groceries wisely & can't even eat out.

Yet he really wants to go and I keep telling him its a stupid idea and got angry at him and he told me that it looks like I don't want to go on a vacation with him

Am I being unreasonable? I just think that he should get his finance fixed before spending money on a vacation

BTW: he would be paying his share of the vacation


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you are being reasonable, but I think you should also consider that he is trying to do something nice so you really shouldn't get angry at you.

    perhaps discuss with him in a calm way if he thinks it's financially wise at the moment. express that you only mention because you care about him. make sure you let it be known that you like that he would want to go on a trip you are just worried about finances... if he seems especially reckless with money it may be something you need to consider but mostly this is just a matter of communicating with each other understanding each other's points of view and compromising

    • I did :( Or perhaps he isn't as broke as I thought he is and if thats the case he shouldn't be letting me pay for most things when we are together :/

    • but then again I've seen his bankaccount, so unless he has some cash secretly hidden I think its a very reckless move and even if i explain it to him calmly he still insists... thats why I got frustrated/angry

    • well ultimately it's his money. if he is or wants to be irresponsible that's his issue. then it's just up to you to decide if he is too irresponsible with money for you to be with him.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm going to get myself in trouble on this one, so no comment.


What Girls Said 3

  • I think he should perhaps be thinking more sensibly about what he prioritizes on a low income but you said that usually he has to budget himself strictly anyway so he can't have many vacations at all. We all deserve a break and this is just his treat. If he's paying for himself then it really is his decision whether you agree or not. He is entitled to enjoy himself occasionally.

    You guys don't live together I assume? It must be a bit annoying not being treated much yourself but consider this vacation a chance to just be together and enjoy life instead of worrying about money :)

    • I know but he can't afford it unless he put himself more into debt... thats why it frustrates me, because I try to help him getting out of it in the simple ways I do but then he just jumps back into it hahaha if you know what I mean

  • Doesn't really seem fair of him to even suggest it to you considering you'd be paying for the trip.

    • he would be paying his part and I would be paying my part

    • Show All
    • Yes and that is exactly my point... why spend money on a trip while you're on a very tight budget for your daily food... so I got frustrated

    • Yeah I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. You're being completely realistic.

  • I don't think you're being unreasonable, but what's up with his financial situation? Is he being a bum? Can he REALLY truly without a doubt not help his own situation?
    I think being honest with him like you are, that he is not in the financial position for this, means he doesn't get to go. He doesn't get to be excited. He needs to fix his work situation, THEN he can think about vacations. It's the harsh truth and I'm wondering if he needs this swift kick in the ass to get on track.