He already talks about marriage. Is it normal for guys to jump so far into the future?

I met this guy sometime last year through a mutual friend, and we used to talk sporadically. The past couple of months, we escalated into talking more frequently. So naturally, the attraction grew and we admitted to liking each other.
He's mentioned the future and settling down with me many times. At first it just seemed like a joke because he'd allude to it after it would come out that we had something silly and random in common, but he's been asking me probing questions about important things like where I'd want to settle down and how I'd want to raise my kids. And saying things that point towards being in it for the long haul.

This isn't something I'm used to, but then again I'm jaded so I've never really dated a guy and seriously saw myself getting married to him. So I just wanted to hear other people's take on it (especially guys).


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he is done playing games with women and wants to start a family so he can have kids before he is 40 and live long enough to see his grandchildren...

    Some Men do want to get married, and have a marriage before the kids are born.

    And some men don't need to wait years to make the choice to be with some1.

    Doesn't take years of doing the same things with the same person before you figure out who they are.


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What Guys Said 3

  • This sounds more like infatuation or puppy love to be quite honest with you. Marriage is an incredibly serious thing and people who are ready to rush into it haven't thought it through. Be patient. There's a huge difference between dating and getting married. Just remember that

  • No. It's not normal.

    It's desperate. He is rushing over himself to try and keep you hooked with what he thinks women want.

    The scary thing?

    It's not from his heart. It's from his head. (The big one)

    It can be a blaring sign of deep seated emotional trauma- he loves you in a way, he enjoys the attention you give him, but he has *no* idea how to reciprocate.

    Deep down, he is a genuinely decent guy. But until he acknowledges his issues (Whatever they are that is causing him to rush into things...) you are in for a wild, wild ride, that will probably leave you very, very lonely.

    My source of reference is my own mother, who is going through this exact same thing, except she DID marry him.

    Listen to your instincts, the ones that caused you to reach out on this website.

    • You are so wrong.

      I dated for a little over a year before I was ready to marry. Doesn't take years to figure it out.

      Marriage is about building a life and going on a journey. Not getting to know someone completely then get married with nothing else to discover.

      A Solider doesn't need to wait 10 years before being deployed to die for his country.

      So why does a man assume to have to wait years before making the choice to be with someone?

      Some people know how to stand by their choices. And with high divorce rates caused by WOmen it shows women are the ones unable to make a choice and stick to it.

    • Because a solider is not at war for the rest of his life.

      Saying high divorce rates are women's faults is pretty shallow. Men have a big hand in it, too. Without taking the months to get to know her, you will never know how she truly ticks. When you are married, your standards relax. Ask any married couple. Dating takes time to get to know someone. People who rush into marriage have no stable foundation to build their lives together- although there are very few exceptions. Perhaps you are one of those exceptions- I hope you are. (I am being genuine.)

      But usually, it means trouble, and danger. There's a reason the Asker is reaching out to us for advice.

      Something smells fishy in his fridge.

  • Candidly, I have never seen a guy who talks about marriage to a girl and is not serious about her, so u r lucky he really is serious about u (i am 90% sure). There is nothing bad in his talking or thinking about marriage, just don't let him make marring u his passion otherwise it would be hard for him to split (if in case u wnt a brk up).


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