Does this guy love me. I'm very confused?

Does this guy have love me?, I'm very confused?
There's this guy I met through work 18 months ago.

We have become very close and speak on the phone for hours a day including evenings, these calls go for 4-6 hours most times.

We are both single, he has so far refused to take things further than a phone relationship because he has a health issue and is also quite reclusive.

He does admit to feeling very comfortable in my company and has recently began to flirt with me despite saying that he can't reciprocate my feelings of love for him, as there is not going to be any love in his life.

He said he can have intimacy, trust, loyalty and all that without love.

He has always been very protective of me and remains protective even in our work environment.

Whenever I bring up the fact that he must have feelings for me as he makes me feel loved, he always justifies and explains it away in a clinical manner.

He has hugged me a couple of times and said he doesn't hug anyone, but says that doesn't mean I'm special to him.

Any ideas of how he REALLY feels about me please?

Updates: a lot of these long long phone calls are made by him


Most Helpful Guy

  • He is afraid to get close to a girl
    i think he just wants to be friends
    than at one point he may want a
    relationship it's hard to say

    • One point he flirts but says there will never be any love in his life than he hugs you but said, you will not be special to him

    • Show All
    • Thank you so much. I'm thinking he has both Schizoid personality disorder ( reclusive lifestyle and resistance to human relationships) and also Asburgrers syndrome. I'm looking at him from a different angle now and picking up things during our conversations, that I was oblivious to before. This doesn't make me love him any less, but it does give me confirmation that this man will never be able to have a fulfilling relationship with me. I have asked him to see me once a fortnight, he said he doesn't think he can do it that often because he is happier on his own. I explained that really, I would like to see him once or twice a week at this stage, and told him that once a fortnight is me compromising by not placing pressure or demands on him. He then said (with a surprised tone) that once or twice a week IS A RELATIONSHIP! and that's every relationship he's ever had. So it's becoming clear that I'm not going to have a life partner or a father of my children in him. Shame. :(

    • I'm glad to be abe to help you thank you for Most Helpful and I wish you the best in life and I hope you find that certain partner to love forever and make a lifetime commitment:)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He is insecure about relationship and has mindset that a relationship can be made without adding love to it.
    Did you ever asked about his illness?

  • Just ask him. Honestly. But be careful, dont be one of those girls that falls for guys real easy.


What Girls Said 2

  • Um, I dont know. Thats confusing. It sounds like he really cares for you maybe as a friend. If a man loves you and wants you he will make it clear. Ask him straight up about it. Games aren't fun to play and if you're like me you'll just overthink it and make it worse than it really is. The quicker you understand his intentions, the faster you can either be with him, or get back to normal.

    • Haha yes I am obviously like you in the over thinking department! He is the most confusing and frustrating man I have ever come across but at the same time, the loveliest man in so many ways. We saw each other last weekend, I kissed him on the cheek as he was leaving, he hugged me very tight, then came back for a second hug after. Progress?

    • Definitely progress!! When you feel like he's being super flirty, if he texts you winky faces, next time you see him, ask him about it. With love you're either going to break up or marry each other. SO its better to just find out after a little while of getting to know each other if this is something he wants.

  • she doesn't know what he wants

    • No I don't know what he wants at all

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    • Oh I've let my guard well and truly down with this man. I've opened myself right up to give him the confidence that he now has with me. I'm very wide open and vulnerable, more so than I've ever been with any man in my life. I had to do it to make him feel safe with me. Which has worked but he is still not open with expressing his feelings towards me, he's keeping them a secret lol

    • i dont know what to tell you sorry

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