When dating a new guy, do you ever mention if you have a friend with benefits? What if the new guy asks?

I have a friend with benefits but I feel like it's time to meet someone new. I was thinking of going out on dates with other guys but my doubts are:

- Do I ever mention during the dates that I have a fuckbuddy/ friend with benefits? What if the guy asks if I'm seeing someone?
- What if the guy actually knows I have a fuckbuddy? Isn't it weird if he's asking me out and I'm not dumping the fuckbuddy?

All of my friends and his friends know we've been seeing each other for almost 9 months... they know I kind of have feelings for him too...

I had a sort of date a few weeks ago with a guy... and then we found out we have a friend in common. This common friend knows that at some point I was totally in love with my fuckbuddy and I guess the guy I dated probably also knows about that now!

How do you balance having a fuckbuddy/friend with benefits plus dating other people? I'm the honest and open kind of person, hate playing games and hiding stuff!!

In Europe and there's not so much of a dating culture... we just basically go out for coffee or ice cream and hang out a bit to know each other. That's not romantic, but it's to check if we like each other or not!
At the time I still don't know anyone who has caught my interest but want to keep my options open...


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you just start dating new people (i.e., go on one or two dates with them), it's generally under the guise that they, too, are dating other people. That's the point of dating: to see which person you are most compatible with. If, however, things start to hypothetically get more serious with a person you are going on dates with (you start to see yourself with them, you've been on multiple dates and they've expressed strong interest in you), it's best to cut ties with your fuck buddy.

    You don't want to get to that point in seeing someone new when the exclusive talk comes up and they say "I'm not seeing anyone else and don't want to" and you're still fucking someone on the side.

    And honestly, you really should cut ties with your fuck buddy regardless of whether or not you want to date new people. You clearly have feelings for him but the situation is staying the same, and that's not healthy. As a girl who's been in your shoes, you're holding yourself back and putting yourself through unnecessary heartbreak.


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What Guys Said 2

  • If I was courting a woman and then discovered that her friend had been watching me with amusement as I courted the woman he just got done dicking-down, I would be disgusted, embarrassed, and angry.

    If you want to keep the fuck-buddy stuff, drop the relationship stuff. If you want the relationship stuff, drop the fuck-buddy stuff. Trying to have both at the same time is just repulsive.

  • I wouldn't date a girl who had a casual fuck buddy without a doubt

    • In Europe and there's not so much of a dating culture... we just basically go out for coffee or ice cream and hang out a bit to know each other. That's not romantic, but it's to check if we like each other or not! if i know a guy at a club and we go once or twice for ice cream i feel that i can still have a fuckbuddy on the side... first I have to check if there's mutual interest with the new guy... or some sort of spark... and only then dump the fuckbuddy!

    • Yeah i wouldn't date someone with a fuck budy. You can explaining it and try to justify it all you want but im just saying i wouldn't date someone with a casual fuck budy

What Girls Said 4

  • don't tell guys your sexual business.

    it is NONE of his business

    you "i don't wanna play games" girls are gonna learn when you end up shooting yourselves in the foot. no guy wants to wife a bitch his friends have fucked...even if you're not a ho, realize that many men can't really handle female sexuality and their minds jump to conclusions

    if you tell him "im sleeping with another guy" while you're dating him, he will feel some type of way about it because in his eyes, why does he have to spend time and money taking you out when another dude can bend you over for free? it reduces your value in his eyes and makes him less likely to want to treat you like a lady

    keep ur fuck buddies private...try to sleep with guys who are in different social groups than guys that you would date so the 2 don't mix

  • I suppose if you aren't exclusive with anyone, it's not absolutely necessary to let someone you're dating know you have a FWB. But the keyword there is "dating." The moment one becomes your boyfriend, it is time to end things with the other. Regardless of whether you're exclusive with either, if you ever decided to start sleeping with guy #2 while you're still sleeping with guy #1, I think it would be common courtesy if you first told him that he's not the only one you're intimate with.

  • I don't have any friend with benefits and I would never date someone who still have a friend with benefits that's just weird.

    • i dont know if i'd cal it a date... it's mostly getting to know a guy and do something together... like going out for ice cream or coffee. I dont know what i should do if they ask!

    • ok but why would they ask you if you have a friend with benefits? that's a weird question to ask? I would suggest you end the relationship with the friend with benefit before trying to meet knew guys because I don't think they would appreciate

  • In this situation, unless you plan on making things exclusive, there is no reason to disclose this as long as you're still not in a committed relationship. If things start to head for a commitment, then it's time to be open and honest about your friends with benefits with the new guy. If you have feelings for your FWB, thats something you would have to clear up with him.

    It's hard when you have to make that decision on when to cut things off with your FWB, I was in a similar situation and it took time as neither of us really wanted to end it. He was still my FWB, as things progressed with my new boyfriend at the time.

    I had to slowly back away from him, but was honest with both parties. The friends with benefits knew that it may have needed to end if I became serious with someone else. That's another thing thats important with a FWB, knowing that there may come a time to end it.