So how do I NOT get heartbroken this time?

Ok so I've just met his guy, he's pretty too good to be true so far, I'm pretty happy, things are at the very beginnings of getting to know each other, he literally came out of nowhere. I am not a negative person but once bitten and all that right?

I've literally had my heart hurt numerously so far this year, and I've been let down on more than one occasion by guys I thought I had something with.. Anyway, I really feel like I'm holding back my heart here, until I'm sure he's decent or passes some test, it's like I'm stopping myself feel things in case he turns away.

I couldn't deal with another disappointment.. I would up honestly become a nun or something lol.

How do I make sure I DO NOT get hurt this time?


Update : yep got hurt that time!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It's easy to not get hurt in any relationship IF you do not have expectations. Do not expect the person to fall in love with you. Don't expect them to stick around. Don't expect them to propose to you. Don't expect - period. Take life as it comes to you and accept it when it does.

    When someone doesn't meet your expectations, it leads to disappointment and, consequently, hurt feelings.

    • Thank you for your advice x

What Girls Said 1

  • Since you didn't elaborate on why you've been hurt, I'll have to give my opinions based on limited information and patterns that I've seen in the past in other girls.

    1. Don't place expectations in the other party until he commits. This isn't saying not to enjoy yourself with him, but if he doesn't call or text for a few days, don't fret, he's not obligated to and neither are you. This may be cliche but try to like him for who he is and not who he could be, that just sets you up for disappointment. People naturally gravitate towards one another when they feel connected so sit back and let attraction do it's job.

    2. Get out of the mindset of 'I need to know where this is going'. Get to know the guy for the sake of getting to know them and not to plan out your future with him. While you are dating, he compliments your life as it is currently. He's not here to pass some 'test', that doesn't sound healthy for you, nor is it fair for him.

    3. Set your standards and recognize red flags early on. Often people will be so infatuated by a new potential partner that they overlook a certain flaw that had plagued them in a past relationship. Sometimes women subconsciously are attracted to the same type of men they've had unhealthy relationships with. If you feel you fall under that category, make a conscious effort to list out the qualities/behaviours in a guy that had brought you pain. Make sure you are realistic and aware of these deal breakers when getting involved with the new guy.

    4. Be confident in knowing that if things didn't work out, you got something out of the experience that leaves you better equipped in finding someone else better.

    • Thank you for your detailed answer :)