Should I just let him be and stop putting forth the effort?

i started dating this guy 2 1/2 weeks ago and to be honest he doesn't seem that interested in me though he says otherwise. we hung out twice now and its good when we are in person with each other but obside from that he doesn't really conversate with me. I've only ever called him 3 times and he doesn't answer when chatting online he'll say one thing or ask a question and then not respond again till the next day only to say sorry and give a reason for why he was too busy to only say one thing and not respond again.. a situation happened the other day where i had to get out of my house for the night and since he's the only person i know around here (i just recently moved here) i went over to his house. he didn't hardly say two words to me and slepped on the couch instead of in his bed with me... i guess to me if i guy is actually interested i shouldn't feel questionable about it.. so im wondering if i should just let it be and stop messaging him (which is only once or twice a day) or just wait it out and see what happens.

before more people just start assuming im angry or upset i only ask cause this is my first time dating and im not sure on how all of this works.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just remember this one rule...a guy who is truly interested in you will put forth a lot of effort. You wouldn't have to question his feelings because you would know. Also, don't chase after any man who shows a lack of interest. It makes you look desperate and that is a huge turnoff. You shouldn't chase after men period. Especially in the beginning. It sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. If he doesn't have to put in any effort in the beginning then henever will. You can let your feelings/intentions be known and then let him do some work. A relationship is about give and take on both parts. Don't just give give give because then he/she will take take take all the time and give nothing in return.

    • thank you

    • Show All
    • i really appreciate your advice and taking the time to respond to my post. and i know i already said it but thank you very much!! :)

    • : ) Not a problem.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • first off stop expecting the guy to do everything for you cause it doesn't work that way, especially if he doesn't know what you want, second if you want him than show it, girls gotta understand some guys are rejected and ignored by girls while growing up when they do put effort into trying to get a girlfriend and fail teaches guys we are not wanted by the opposite gender most guys learn the hard painful way, so what else do you expect also guys want love and sex if you dont desire the same things than dont waste his time... for your update im sure you know how it works, and what to do but the problem is and what every girl seems to do is not do it

    • first off i dont expect anything from anyone and if i knew how it worked i wouldn't be asking..therefore the defensive response isn't necessary... but thanks anyways..

What Girls Said 1

  • Well you have only been dating for 2 1/2 weeks. He was being a gentlemen by not sleeping in the bed with you. I do not get how you would be upset about that. You have not been dating long and he was being respectful of you as a woman. Do you not want respect in a relationship?

    • i wasn't upset by it and we fell asleep together the two times we did hang out... and my question was based on interest not anger. i was just curious on if i should back away if he doesn't seem that interested... and yeah i know its only been 2 1/2 weeks but I've never really dated before and not sure on how all this works.. or even where the interest level should be at this point... i was just wondering thats all.