How can I muster up enough courage to express romantic interest in women?

Yeah, this has been asked by others before, but still here goes. I'm a 28 year old guy who has NEVER asked a woman out before. It may seem strange, but its true. I have been involved in a couple of relationships, but in both cases, the girls themselves asked me out. And my last relationship ended 4 years back. I have been single since then because I was focusing on my career, and I knew that a relationship would be more of a distraction than an asset for me during this period.

Anyway, now I'm scared as hell to approach women (I wasn't confident earlier as well). I mean...I have absolutely no problems striking up conversations with women. In fact, most women feel that I'm a really great guy with an impeccable sense of humor. I'm above average in terms of looks (most people say I'm quite good looking, but I don't feel the same). But I become totally nervous if I decide to express my romantic interest in someone, to the point that I begin to stammer, my fingers tremble and I feel a squeezing pain in my chest. So I can never do it, and the woman only ends up asking me if I'm alright or if I'm going though some health issues.

I just can't understand why it happens. I'm always ever so confident when conversing with people (both men and women), and I'm considered to be amongst the best and most confident speakers amongst my colleagues. But I seem to become a total trainwreck when it comes to confessing romantic interest to a woman. I'm really messed up, so I'm seeking sound advice here.

P.S. I'm not the kind of guy to pick up girls at nightcclubs for one-night stands, so kindly refrain from posting these kind of answers.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like you need a wingman! I'm sorry to hear you struggle with this, my advice would be to work on your self esteem and try to make some good friends to support you. You can also try expressing interest in a way other than talking about it. For instance our can grab a girls hand or slip your number on a piece of paper to her which involves absolutely no speaking. Obviously you would have o speak eventuallu but on the phone it might not be quite as nerve wracking.

    • Well...I have tried the method of speaking over the phone, but the situation pretty much remains the same (maybe 20% less severe than in person). I just tend to disconnect the call at that very moment, and later pretend that my phone's battery died. Anyway, thanks for taking time out to answer my questions. Much appreciated, I'll see what I can do.

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