Do you think I should take the risk?

I have been getting on really well with a girl whose my flat mate, however it is now the summer and we aren't living in the same house next year, the thing is, she's the type who really speaks her mind and stands up for herself. Hard to describe but I'll do my best, so she didn't make many guy friends or female friends for that matter, except me and her really got on, the sink was blocked at one point, she'd text me, she needed to go shopping with someone, she'd text me, she needed boxes to pack her stuff, she'd ask me to go with her to help her bring them back, you get the idea.

Thing is I really think I'm beginning to like her as more than a friend and I don't know if she's interested in that or if it's just because I'm her only really good friend, from this you might assume she's not very likeable, it's the opposite in a sense, she's just really open, a guy flirted with her while clubbing a few times and she either doesn't say a word to them, or eventually just pushes them away or tells them to get lost, she hasn't really interacted with many guys apart from me. We would often see each other and just take the mick, we'd both laugh lots.

I'm so bad at reading signs especially when it involves her, she's messaged me first most of the time, including to days ago to say she's already bored with being home, said she was going to miss me on the break, sadly she lives in Ireland and I in the UK so visiting isn't too simple. It'll be a few months and I've had a long relationship (2 years) prior to this but I find myself thinking of her a lot. Sometimes I think it's as friends and I'm unsure but as far as I'm concerned, if I'm still thinking about her when I see her again, it must be, so if it seems like she's interested I'll go for it.

What do you think?



Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are unsure whether you like her as friends or more at this point (maybe you just miss being around her, as a friend, since you were so used to be before) I wouldn't make a move just yet. Although it sounds like you have a good intentions, you should just wait until you determine if you truly do have romantic feelings for her and then make a move. It sounds to me (based on what you wrote) that you two just have a really good roommate relationship-one of my old roommates, who I lived with for 3 years, and I used to be the same way. We weren't ever romantically involved but we had a very close friendship and cared about each other deeply.

    • Sorry to be so brief but I completely agree, if I do it too early it may cause more harm than good and I think you're right, suddenly having a break after so long together just made it feel so weird, I'll see how I'm feeling when I see her again!
      Many thanks!

    • Thats a good idea, just wait it out a bit and see how you feel once you two are back in the same place. Often times we develop what we think are romantic feelings when we really just miss hanging around someone as a friend.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You should risk it because whats the worse she is going to say No and you will be in the same boat you are now. Take a step out of your comfort zone and take a risk because you might find love outside your comfort zone..

  • i think you are favorzoned.. she's not interested on you romantically.

    • I just re-read what I wrote and I did make it sound that way...

      I don't particularly agree, mainly because my description has left out a lot of information, lots of stuff I can't describe, I would be wording it like this, the favours thing is a running joke between us because I do it to her a hell of a lot, we jokingly insult each other and then if we go clubbing we would say things like "I'm going home now, didn't realise "name" would be here. Then laugh and move along, but that's also my problem, I enjoy the jokes and the humour so much, that I'm not actually sure if I want a relationship haha!

      Last time I asked for a friends opinion then ended up telling me they felt the same way about me, so I gave up on that idea...

    • I don't know for me her actions are just friendly nice gestures cause the two of you are close. if she's the type who is frank and speaks her mind she would be more obvious if she's interested in you. :/

    • That I agree with!

      The only sign I can think of and what started me on even considering a relationship was this;

      We were out with us and friends, people asked her if she wanted to go home cause she was tired, instead she walked over to where I was talking to some friends I met, sat next to me and rested her head on my lap, I just sat there rubbing her shoulders till we left, didn't think about it much at the time, but people kept saying maybe she wants more than friendship, I just don't like rushing into things.

  • maybe she sees you only as a good friend. But if she gives you a sign that she is interested then go for it... :-)

    • Yeah I agree and that's probably what I may prefer so we don't lose a good friendship, as I said below though this is what got me thinking;

      We were out with us and friends, people asked her if she wanted to go home cause she was tired, instead she walked over to where I was talking to some friends I met, sat next to me and rested her head on my lap, I just sat there rubbing her shoulders till we left. People told me after summer that they thought that was a sign at the time, some also assumed we were dating already, I just don't know if I want to go for it, possibly have it end and then lose a good friendship. Although I can also see it causing problems in a future relationship if I'm such good friends with her, it's never easy...

    • just go with the flow and never knows something good might happen :-)

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