When is the best time to tell her about a past relationship?

I had an abusive on-off long term relationship (since I was 14 now I am 24) and I just don't know when to tell a new girl about that.

Obviously I should not tell it on the first date, but when is the right time?

I don't want my past to ruin any future relationships, because I fear that most girls consider me now damaged goods or something. I know I would.

Is it okay if I say to a girl:

"I don't want to talk about it right now, I have been hurt badly and I want to get to know you first."

How would a girl react to that?

I just want to avoid instant rejection, and I fear of spending the rest of my life alone.

Any advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell her when you feel yourself getting closer to her. Like before anything too serious, sit down with her and have that conversation. I am pretty sure she would understand what you mean and would be more than willing to move at a slow pace

    • Thank you, that gives me hope.

    • No problem (: I wish you the best of luck in the field of relationships.

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What Girls Said 1

  • There's never a perfect moment to talk about past relationships. You can't exactly blurt it out, especially early into the relationship. Also, considering something as sensitive as an abusive relationship. That would take a while.
    Usually, past relationships would simply flow into a conversation. Maybe you stumble upon one of her exes or she might bring it up. Then, if you feel like you can trust her, you can ask to talk about it later or even tell her the truth. Just be polite and don't push her away afterwards. Let her know that you will talk to her when you're ready.


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