Why do shy guys avoid the women they want to be with?

GUYS! Why do shy guys hide from the women that clearly show interest in them? How can a girl that's interested in a shy guy get past all the avoidance?

WOMEN! If you are in a relationship with a shy guy.. how were you able to continue pursuing a relationship with him when he gave you NO encouragement in the beginning? How long does it last?


Most Helpful Guy

  • As one of those shy guys, it can be a combination of factors.

    1) He could not know that you're interested. A girls definition of clearly can be quite different than a guys definition of clearly. :P Have you straight out told him of your feelings?

    2) He may think you're interested in someone else or are otherwise already taken.

    3) He may not know what to do exactly to court you. You might have to take the lead and suggest a place to go on a date. Perhaps ice cream or a coffee shop.

    Due to lack of information that's all I really have at the moment (and I'm a bit tired). I wish you luck. :)

    • Lol thanks. We've been on a date and it went really well. Neither one of us called it a date though. I have never told him my feelings for him other than I mentioned in a message once that I wanted to know what it was like to kiss him. When we message I refer to him as handsome. So I do try to be flirty but I admit I have not expressed that my ultimate goal is to be his girlfriend. If he needs me to be clear, I can be but I'd rather do it in person. However, he won't come out of hiding :(

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What Guys Said 6

  • because shy men dont want to bother them. men now are raised to put women on a pedestal, i think you will find many shy men are raised by single moms or products of divorce. just a working theory of mine.

    • Interesting theory. What makes them think they would be a bother?

    • because moms dont know how to raise sons. they teach their boys they should respect women and not that women should respect men

  • a lot of shy guys have experienced making a move and getting harshly rejected because they misjudged a girl's level of interest. The difference between women merely being friendly versus showing interest is extremely blurry. Girls THINK they are clearly interested but they're actually being too subtle. I speak as a shy guy myself.

    Winking at a guy, smiling at him, finding excuses to be around him more, etc will go over many a guys head.

    • Funny, I have done all those things. I'm out of ideas. I suppose I am guilty of being too subtle. So what else can I do? I want him to know that I want him and no one else but I'd rather tell him in person.. I can't get him to come out of hiding :(

    • Just keep doing it XD
      It takes time for a shy guy to like you / trust you...

      ps: he'll never start to like you if you never talk to him 'the more you talk the more he gets used to you...'

    • I understand. So I should just send him messages like, "I was just thinking about you.. I hope you have a great weekend". Do you think it's alright if I wish him a happy Father's Day? (He has a daughter)

  • Fear of rejection is very VERY paralyzing!

    • Even if she's already shown signs of interest? How can I ease his fear?

    • Ask HIM out, and overall take the leadership role (as in be the guy).

  • because they're shy! I'm shy. it's like walking into really cold lake water. talk gradually and find some common interests and then you make friends with the person or water ya know?

    • How can you get to know someone if they avoid seeing you? :(

  • Did you try to talk to him? Initiate conversation...shy guys need encouragement,


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