What should I do about this situation with my bf of 10 months?

I am such an insecure person and have trust issues. My bf and i got into an argument last night because I grt sick of the way he treats me sometimes. He gets mad because I don't believe some things he says or I will fight with him and won't trust him. He told me he is not like the guys in my past and it's not his fault I'm like this. But it kinda is because of the way he makes me feel sometimes. Sometimes he acts all loving and other times he asks like a jerk. And I'm scared he's gonna cheat on me. Because when he drinks he can be a flirt and checks out girls. He has mentioned that maybe we go to counseling. Whenever I try talking to him to make our relationship better he always just tells me I need to grow up. But he makes it seem like it's all my fault and if i grew up everything would be fine. But what he doesn't understand is that he needs to do things for me grow up by showing he loves me and me knowing he wants to be with me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Too insecure to break up with him?
    He's no prize package.
    He's already broken up with you if he checks out other women.
    You. Need. To. Grow. Up? Do you see anything wrong with this picture?
    If he tells you that he's not like the guys in your past, you can believe that he told you that he's not like the guys in the past. Does he act like the guys in your past?
    You're right not to trust him.

    • He doesn't make it obvious when he checks out girls and he says I just think he does because I don't trust him. Sometimes he does by the way he is a jerk.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Thinking outside the box a little, but based on one thing he said to you: He mentions that he thinks you two go to counselling. How many guys even say that or even suggest it? He ain't as bad as many of the people I met. However, after 10 months, the two of you may likely need to communicate and see if you guys are on the same page in this relationship.

    • Him and his ex gf went to counseling once before he broke up with her but it didn't help. But he also didn't love her anymore and she cheated on him. And I have never heard a guy say that before either. Which i was surprised when he suggested it.

    • So clearly, both of you have some insecurities then. He had an ex that cheated on him which is a severe ego bruise for men to have happen to them. The drinking probably doesn't help him get through things as it may be the catalyst for the problems. But that is just speculation here. Im no expert

  • First off, trust issues.


    When he's drunk, if he says things to you while drunk, it's the truth.

    Actions speak louder than words. Try get him to change or leave him

  • It honestly sounds like you're both at very different points in your life. You're reading for a committed relationship, he is not. Tell him either reform or leave. Nothing about him sounds worth staying for, because it's going to take a great deal of time for him to change without a major push in the right direction.


What Girls Said 1

  • it's hard when insecurities and lack of trust is involved in a relationship...
    i'm not trying to defend him, but what do you do for him to show him you love him and that you still want to be with him?
    maybe try and explain to him, when you're both sober and calm, that the way he treats you sometimes is not acceptable by you and you will not allow it to happen. explain to him how it makes you feel, and be honest with him...

    • I tell him I love him and have written him long texts telling him he makes me happy and i haven't been this happy in a long time and i hope to never lose him then he tells me I'm never going to lose him. And I've already tried it but again he never likes to talk about it.