How to initiate a semi-serious conversation with him when we're always in a group situation?

I've had a 'thing' with this guy for a few months now, nothing too serious. He knows I like him, and I know he likes me too somewhat but he's confused as to whether he likes me enough to risk losing the friendship or changing the group dynamic (we belong to a bigger group of really close friends).

I would like to clarify how I feel, i.e. I think it would be a missed opportunity to not see where it went and that I trust him and I trust myself enough not to make it weird with each other or the group if it were to end.

Our university exams are coming up and I know that I will be distracted if I don't have a conversation to get things cleared up and decide whether we'll move on to something more or end it. He's been acting quite close to me lately so it's looking positive but I'm unsure how to get him alone to have the conversation.

Any tips? Our group will be going to my friend's house soon to hand out, but there will be a few of us there so do you have any advice on how to approach the subject of maybe wandering outside for a chat? Should I wait for another time or do you think it's best to get it out of the way?

Any answer would be appreciated.


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  • Do you ever text him? Do you ever walk out the class together? Take the bus together? In a group it is hard to talk one on one. You should make it clear. Send the signals (eye contact, give him your attention, talk and enjoy the conversation).
    You can't assume what he's thinking. You want to move things along so find a minute with him. Come to him with relaxed energy and ask. Don't ask yourself did he say no because he doesn't want to ruin the friendship? If he says no, accept it. If he says yes tell him you expect that things won't get weird and tell him it's important to you. Have a few agreements from the start so everyone is clear.

    • Neither of us are the type to text much, unless we're discussing arrangements for going out to the city with the group or arranging times to go to the pub with the group.

      University is on break and we don't have any regular things together apart from group hang outs.

      I'm very tempted to just text and ask him to go for a coffee or see a movie or something, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea as though I'm pushing him into going on a 'date', and make him feel weird or uncomfortable about it.

      I haven't just assumed what he's thinking; we've had conversations before during group situations when there's been an opportunity to talk alone and that's what he's said to me. (I'm glad we're open with each other)
      I just don't know how to replicate that situation so that we can have another talk about it and clarify things.

    • I know what I want to say to him, I just need a way to initiate the conversation, or a way to get him away from the group to talk.

      I just want to talk to him as soon as possible because it's starting to frustrate me. The next time we'll see each other is Wednesday at my friend's house while we're watching a football game so I kind of want to talk to him then. Any suggestions would be really helpful :)

      Thanks for replying by the way!

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