How much does size really matter?

How much does the size of a man's waist really matter?

I know confidence is the biggest part, if you want to be the man in a woman's life you have to be a MAN. But I also know that attraction matters, on average women aren't as 'shallow' as men tend to be.

Last year, my world was shattered whenever my ex-fiancée and I split. I'm a bigger guy, I most the most part of my life have been. Always the fat kid jokes, you know kids being kids, doing what they do. But I've been losing weight again (40 lbs so far :D) and I would really like to just go on a series of dates with different people nothing serious as I've never done this before.

I don't feel like I have a confidence problem. I know I am an introvert, but I feel confident in most everything I do. When my ex and I were first dating she said one of the things she liked most about me was how confident I was. But I can't seem to grab the attention of any of the women I would like to. While I still love her, I don't feel like she feels the same toward me. Everyonce in while she says she does, she tell me she loves me and misses me, wants to see me, but we only talk through fb messages. She won't add me as a friend either, like trash thrown to the side.

I get Friend zoned every single time. I moved back to my hometown, back with my parents for a while actually, last year and it has always seemed to be this way in this town. Growing up for me was the same story, I did have a few girlfriends in high school (4).

I just want some prospective on what I can do lol, I'm losing weight so I'm not worried about that part, if I'm just too fat that's fine, I can fix that, but if it's me, like my personality then I feel like I'm kinda fucked.


Most Helpful Girl

  • In all honesty it depends on the girl. I prefer lean guys but some of my friends like bigger guys. The fact that you were a bigger guys means your probably a lot more fun to be around in my opinion. You know how to take a joke and smile which is very contagious. You just have to find the right type of girl. Don't get discouraged and keep up the confidence :)


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • As the ladies said, it depends on the guy (just like with guys, some like skinny and small, some like curvy, some like a bit of meat).

    I prefer slimmish guys, like 32-38inch waist - my ex was TINY, 24 inch waist, he is about 5ft 10 and weighs about 100 pounds. And I see now it's too small and I don't like guys to be that slim. Whereas my current boyfriend is twice that, and I'm more comfortable with him - he's not fat, he is quite muscled but he has a bit of meat on him. I'm not scared to make him a sandwich and fear it's too much food for him!

    You are right, it's personality as well as looks. I think you're doing just fine for what it's worth - everyone is different and one day someone will embrace all of your personality :)
    You sound to be a really sweet, sensitive and down to earth guy. :) "People don't like to reach for the good apples because they are high up in the tree and hard to catch. The ones on the grow are easier to get".

    You're just a harder catch :)

  • :/ nothing you can really do about who you are
    but not gonna lie
    being on the bigger side gives you an edge, especially if you're confident
    cause a lot of girls are chubby chasers


What Guys Said 2

  • Like the comments before me, it all depends on the girl. Unfortunately, a lot of women and men in western society are attracted to people who are more fit and skinny. On the upside, if you have extended interaction with the same people and you have a likeable personality, someone may start to fall for you simply because the see the person behind the outer layer of looks.

    And as people get older, looks fade. The shallow men and women who are only chasing good looks don't realize this now.