I'm a 28 year old guy who has NEVER asked a woman out before. It may seem strange, but its true. I have been involved in a couple of relationships, but in both cases, the girls themselves asked me out. And my last relationship ended 5 years back. I have been single since then because I was focusing on my career, and I knew that a relationship would be more of a distraction than an asset for me during this period.
Anyway, now I'm scared as hell to approach women (I wasn't confident earlier as well). I mean... I have absolutely no problems striking up conversations with women. In fact, most women feel that I'm a really great guy with an impeccable sense of humor. I'm above average in terms of looks (most people say I'm quite good looking, but I don't feel the same). But I become totally nervous if I decide to express my romantic interest to someone, to the point that I begin to stammer, my fingers tremble and I feel a squeezing pain in my chest. So I can never do it, and the woman only ends up asking me if I'm alright or if I'm going though some health issues.
I just can't understand why it happens. I'm always ever so confident when conversing with people (both men and women), and I'm considered to be amongst the best and most confident speakers amongst my colleagues. But I seem to become a total trainwreck when it comes to confessing romantic interest to a woman. I'm really messed up, so I'm seeking sound advice here. I'm quite sure that it has something to do with me being terrified of rejection. I'm a perfectionist who strives for the best in everything I do, and I find it difficult to accept failures in general. So I consider a rejection for a woman as a huge personal insult and a big failure because I wasn't good enough for her.
P. S. I'm not the kind of guy to pick up girls at nightcclubs for one-night stands, so kindly refrain from posting these kind of answers.
Most Helpful Girl
Everyone feels nervous while confessing. You can either
1. Chicken out and never succeed
2. Stutter through it and possibly succeed.
2 is better than 1. It's no different from having a project in front of a class. Either you do it nervously and get an ok grade, or you don't do it at all and fail. Just get over it and do it.0
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Most Helpful Guy
My perception is that you need to change the way you think.
Your perfectionism is hurting you, and holding you back quite a bit. I mean, wouldn't you rather have a less-than-perfect track record with women and find someone to share your love with, versus having a perfect (or maybe I should say, non-existent) track record with pursing women and also have no romantic love in your life?0