Dated for 4 months - stopped calling for a month - no calling again???

We dated for 4 mos or so, didn't talk about our feelings. I didn't make it obvious that I liked him and he didn't make it obvious that he liked me. We enjoy each others company that was obvious.. He stopped calling for about a month and now started again. I called him on it and told him I wouldn't be a booty call. He pretty much said that he didn't think I was into him and that I wouldn't care if we stopped talking. He thought was take it or leave it with him. He was shocked to hear I did like him. He kept asking if I thought he as an A-hole and wants to at least be friends.

So what's the agenda? because I am a bit skeptical although he did seem genuine and we should both take blame since our feelings were never discussed. Oh and I am pretty sure although he denies it that he did hook up with someone else.

Do I attempt friendship or is that a ploy?


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  • The easiest way to see if he is sincere about friendship and is not trying to turn you into booty call is to be a friend with him but avoid situations or any advances on his part for sex and see what happens. Of course, if you still have an attraction to him, this could be playing with fire and you really shouldn't see him in that case.

    I did this with a guy who I had not heard from for a month or so and who I told I did not want to see him on a casual basis anymore. He swore that if he had known I had wanted a relationship with him instead of a casual thing, that he would have gone there and that he had no idea I wanted something more than casual and this was all just a misunderstanding. Well, every time we go to hang out as friends he flakes. Last time he even questioned me as to whether I could honestly resist having sex with him if we hung out and I told him, yes, I don't want that, I just want either friendship or a relationship. Well, gee, again, he had to cancel our plans to hang out as friends. He still keeps contacting me. I have no doubt he is hoping I will change my mind but I won't. It's funny.

  • Were yall doing was having sex since you mentioned you didn't want to be a booty call? I mean, this is rather starnge to me that yall would go that long without communicating yalls feelings to each other. Not just verbally butphysically too. hard to believe you caould not tell if yall liked each other if yall were together for 4 months. Not really long but long enough to want to be with someone that you like. yall liked each other, of course but just didn't know how to show it. So because of the lack of communication, its over. Knowing this, yall really weren't into each other. that's what you call a fling. Now next time communicate ok? If you like a guy, tell him or really express it in action so this won't happen again but in this case, I think it was because yall both weren't into it.