Why do I feel hurt and a bit jealous?

I was out with my friends today at the bar... and i found out that my female friend that i like... and that likes me... (we basically act like a couple a lot of the time.).. went and played minigolf with our other guy friend.

This ofc makes me feel hurt and a bit jealous because I've asked her before... and she said no a few times.. but she'll do other stuff with me... movies... dinner.. bowling... pool. Go karts... camping...

Truthfully i dont even know when they went. She mentioned crappy weather so it was probably a couple months ago.

Im pretty sure she asked him to go because she was bored at home... and i was probably at work.. so that is why it hurts more. Cuz even though they flirt a lot with eachother.. i know that they are both just friends. ( he has no attraction nor does he want to sleep with her. And she's even said that she just views him as a friend.) While with me she is always shy and acts different with me. Though we do flirt a lot too.. just not like they do. Mainly because i suck at it... but we talk more. We have conversations. Etc...

She acts more like a brother/sister relationship with him...

I feel like i should ask her about it... but i dont want to make her mad or ruin whatever is developing right now between us. I know she has feelings for me. Her friends even tell me that she likes me...

I also feel like i shouldn't read to much into this because... frankly i trust her. I shouldn't worry because she can do whatever she wants with whomever. We aren't together yet. But still it hurts a bit.

Besides, out of him and i, im the only one she's let into her home... I've met her mother... hell she is the one asking me when her and i will be going camping. (Though she jokes about bringing my roommate and his gf along, for the extra company, and a ride [i dont have a car atm]).

Advice please? Should i drop it? Or should i just ask her about it. Letting her know that im a bit jealous...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't tell her that. Dont let her know you're insecure about this guy over a little event that happenes. She obviously spends more time than you and you definitely have her. Don't overthink stuff man you seam like a great guy and if you were the other guy you'd notice she's always with you instead. Goodluck dude.

    • Alright. I'll do that.

      Infact he has said that I've spent more time with her than he has. he's only hung out with her a couple times alone... I've hung out... a lot more then that. Its just just that compared to him.. im not exactly socially savy. I can't flirt worth a damn. Lol. But then he's basically s real life barney stinson.

    • Show All
    • This is theraputic in its own way too. Getting advice from others that went through or are going through the same thing. Or similar at least.

      And being told what not to do is nice too.

    • You see i see that confidence you havd in yourself & she sees it too so you definitely should'nt get to stressed on this situation & tell yourself you got this. you're not lying to yourself it's the truth , you got it ;) Never let a bad thought stop you from doing sonething that will make you happy. You'll regret it in ghe long run by not taking chances you've had. Best of luck to you man glad i could help in some way.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Ask her out instead of being so passive and upset when she's out with other guys

    • See thats my problem... I'm too passive. I'm afraid of losing her as a friend so I tip-toe around her.. But the truth is that we have a lot of fun together. And she's awesome. lol.

      Just finding the right moment to do it is hard. Don't want to appear to clingy or anything remotely needy. She's going on a 2 week trip. Maybe I should ask her out a couple days before her trip and have her give me an answer when she gets back... Or do it when she gets back... Though I thought about asking her while we're camping.

      I have a couple first dates in mind actually. Ones just at a local restaurant. Another's at a farmers market that ends with dinner.

      How would you want to be asked out? Where to go... hmmm?

What Guys Said 1

  • Ask her out and become exclusive already!

    • Just finding the right time to ask her. Its a pain... but im getting somewhere. Im going to probably do it after we go camping... or during. I don't know yet. But i have a first date planned already. Its a good one too.