I am not attractive. Not looking for pity or beauty is in the eye of the beholder or any of that. Seriously. I am fat with frizzy hair fucked up teeth and all that jazz. My boyfriend is the guy all the bitches wanted in high school. Beautiful and sweet and funny.
He says I am the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. He must be delusional. No sarcasm. No joke. Its just not true.
I offer nothing. Nothing he can't find in a better woman. Understanding support and love, yes. But who wouldn't give him that if they were his gf?
I am always sick (thyroid is dying) require a lot of care and don't make much money at all. Like 400 bucks a month low.
How can he love me? What is wrong with him?
I don't know. But it hurts to be with him. To walk hand in hand with everyone looking at us funny. I am not paranoid. I see the sneers and hear the comments. To want to hold him so badly but his touch burns because I know we look stupid together and we will never be beautiful together. It hurts because his embrace makes me feel beautiful for a moment. Until I remember what we look like together and it makes me so depressed I retract.
He is the only man I have loved like this. We are so perfect together in every way. Except this way. And it blocks me. Blocks me from accepting his love. I feel like I am banging my head against a wall.
How do I deal with being ugly? Especially when he doesn't see it. I feel guilty letting him be
I've that delusion by letting him treat me like I am beautiful. It hurts. It hurts so bad.
Most Helpful Guy
Maybe you are truly beautiful in his eyes.
Maybe he sees you as his equal.
This hurt for me to read but the more I read the more respect I had for your boyfriend. He obviously doesn't care what people think so you should really work on trying to embrace him thinking you're his equal. You two need to just be you. Love is a powerful thing so powerful I'm not quite sure if I've experienced it. Try to learn to enjoy his company because he seems to be enjoying yours.2