When/How to ask my friend out?

I understand that I'm too passive and that I lack confidence in myself, but I am getting better. I'm afraid of losing her as a friend so I tip-toe around her.. But the truth is that we have a lot of fun together. We both definitely have feelings for eachother...

I basically confessed to her a month ago, but forgot to actually ask her on a date. Things were awkward for a week but since then when we hang out she's been more flirty with me. She's even told me that she wants me to "let her come to me."

She blushes when she looks at me and while she flirts heavily with our friend when we're hanging out.. I know its because he's a huge flirt and she just gets caught up in it. But then so do I. Lol.

One of her friends said that her and him have a brother/sister vibe whereas when she's with me its a boyfriend/girlfriend vibe. While I'm not comparing myself to my friend who's a real life barney stinson, I would like to mention that between the two of us I'm the only one to have met her mother, her other friends and has been invited into her home by her.

Just finding the right moment to do it is hard. We just hung out at the bar last night sending off our friend (the player), who's going to Korea for a month. Prior to that I was at her place drinking and talking, watching a movie.

I don't want to appear too clingy or anything remotely needy. She's going on a 2 week trip. Maybe I should ask her out a couple days before her trip and have her give me an answer when she gets back... Or do it when she gets back... Though I thought about asking her while we're camping a couple weeks after she gets back from her trip.

Maybe I should ask her out tonight and make concrete plans to go out for dinner either 2 days before or the day before she leaves for 2 weeks.(on 07/12/14 its currently 06/25/14). Or should I make the date sooner.

I have a couple first dates in mind actually. Ones just at a local restaurant. Another's at a farmers market that ends with dinner.

I was also thinking that because she's shy, at least around me, that a double date might be a good idea.
Weve also progressed to the goodnight, sweet dreams texts at night. When i mention hanging out again, she's totally into it. Moreso when i do group outings... but thats what i want to progress from. She even texts me that she had fun that same night.


Most Helpful Girl

  • "Let her come to me" is like saying "don't call me I'll call you" but what the hell. Just ask her out. You can't lose by being honest, but what if, wondering, obsessing, will kill you. Worst case scenario is she rejects you but its a lot easier to move on from rejection than "I wish I had said something when I had the chance" because she might meet somebody else and by then its too late.

    • The day she said, "Tip. Let me come to you," she snapped at me. We had made plans to hang out on a wednesday. But my job had requested that i work the wednesday. So i asked her id we could do it friday. Thats when she was like... "idn, i might be busy. Tip let me come to you." Ofc... thinking i did something wrong. I asked her. She told me she wasn't mad at me, but that she was dealing with stuff atm. So i let her be.

      Thats when on the Friday we would have met... she invited me over to her place while her mother was out of town. We talked about random shit in our lives... what we would do when we went camping together. Family. We drank. We sat in her room and talked. When she was showing me videos on her phone she would lean into me. Same with the movies.

      So im thinking ill do it tonight. I just dont want to appear to clingy (would it be, since we saw eachother last night?) I know well'll still be friends even if she says no so i shouldn't feel this much pressure.

    • Show All
    • Thanks! So yeah im basically a step ahead of where i was yesterday. Not where i wanted to be.. but its a step in the right direction. I just dont get women though.. lol. A few hours later she texts me a pic of a sunset she took and we talked for about 20 minutes... then she just gets cold. doesn't respond or anything. So i just text her goodnight and that id text her tomorrow. Probably should wait a day instead.

      Also... something i found weird was i logged into my pof account and saw she was online... so i just jokingly said hey. she's like stop creepin me. I say i wasnt. she's like "I know it's just your on Pof I'm not the only fish in the sea. Don't be shy just dive in." I tell her that i already 'reeled' her in amd she just repies with... "*swims away*". I act hurt by that and exit only to have her ask me if i met anyone through it other than her. I mention that there were a few and she's all telling me to keep trying. ... i really dont get her sometimes...

    • I figure ill just do as she says and let her see come to me... oh also one of the topics we talked about in the 20 minutes was which campsite we'de goto... so again. Wtf. And yes i know friends can go camping. Lol. But still... ah w/e ill just let it be and let fate happen.

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