How to avoid "blowing it" with a gal that just might be cooler than me?

So I've met this gal, we've gone on two dates and have a third planned. she's pretty cool and I would like to see things go long term with her.

The problem is that I'm usually play it pretty cool and desirable... until I meet a girl I really like then I feel like I might blow it by coming on too strong.

Whats the balance here? What are some things a guy could do that would blow it for you after a couple dates, when you otherwise thought he seemed like a pretty date-able guy?


Most Helpful Girl

  • possible dealbreakers after 2 or 3 dates with an otherwise cool guy:
    1. asking about my male friends/other dates/hints of jealousy (you have no claim to me!)
    2. phone calls/texts for no reason
    3. showing up (unannounced) at my work or my usual hangouts when you don't usually go there
    4. seeing him drunk
    5. him wanting to meet my friends/family
    6. dates that are overly romantic and/or expensive
    7. staying too long at my place

    ... that's all I have for now. But, in general, just avoid stuff like that which you probably would not ever do anyway. Good luck!


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Your style is What makes girls in finding you 'Cool and desirable'... You're like this juicy apple at the top of the tree hardest to grab, and they find it a challenge. I use this advice on girls on here who are too easy with many of Today's toms...
    When you find one you like, let down your hair a bit, your guard... Not that you are to 'blow it by coming on too strong,' but let them see the other side of you, Especially if you really like her and want------Things to go long term.
    Good luck. xx

  • Just be the best version of yourself and you can't go wrong😊


What Guys Said 2

  • Have confidence in being yourself, meaning do not alter your principles to be accepted by her. And don't be afraid of a little conflict, or should I say, do not agree with her if you don't. Believe it or not, a little conflict here or there can enhance attraction.

  • don't put her on the pedestal. she is not cooler than you. make that your mindset and you should be good to go.