How I can avoid the hard feeling with that jerk?

recently I got one message from the guy i am dating with, he said he thought I gave him too much pressure to be serious relationship, so he backed off, but we can still hang out together, like going to his friend's party, or tennis (what,? we never play tennis before?).

I agreed to be friends with him, cuz I am really new to the town, need new friends hang out, and I think I moved on, without hard feelings. After that, we hang out one more weeks. One day we went to the bar, I got drunk, he sent me to home, and he still wanted to have sex with me ( we did not have when we were dating before). I asked him why , aren't we friends, he told me friends also can have sex, just for fun, and I have good-looking, attractive. we did not make it, cuz he cannot turn on me, I guess he was so embarrassed.

he text more and send more pics in snapchat everyday to me, one weekend, I thought we are friends now, it is not big deal I initiated texting him once. so I sent him, and he had seen it, but not replied me. he sent something until 12am, so I knew he was dating with other guys/girls. I used to think we are friends, I do not care. But next day when I hang out with my friends, I accidentally refresh my Facebook page , one girl left message on his post in fb post update, she said 'it was really nice to meet with him again, and hope to see him in the bar (we used to go) next time',, obviously they date last night, the girl left message immediately when finish dating, around 10pm. The ridiculer part is he texted to me next day morning, I did not check his message after few hours, he apologized he replied me message late last night, cuz busy work day. didn't he see the girl he dating leave evidence to everyone? he hide that message next day in facebook, I never replied me again, he still sent me pics in snapchat, but he knew I saw it , all the message he sent. Since we became friends, I never asked his stuff, but he always asked me what I am up to,

he recently knew a new guy, they worked out together. When I heard it , said 'oh, maybe introduce him to me, we live so close, can hang out as friends together'. he said 'no, he has girl friends.'
After I saw that girl's message, I knew I still have
some feeling with him, care about him. I knew it is time I have to completely break up with him, we cannot be friends even for ever. I really feel bothered when he still text me/sent pics, but I want to be mature,


Most Helpful Guy

  • He seems interested in you as a friend not as a GF, it's not a bad thing unless you really like him.

    "like going to his friend's party, or tennis (what,? we never play tennis before?)."
    Sounds like he is a bit awkward at explaining his means, He basically meant he would be happy to see you around and totally doesn't mind to be involved with activities that includes you to be with him.

    "So I did it, told him I have no hard feeling, already move on and wish him well, I would be friends if he want. So he use 'Yup' to end this topic, started to text me some random stuffs, like app we using or he saw one article about my major,"
    He shut down that convo about you and him cause he really doesn't want to mention that story up, he is trying to avoid it because he realize the more you guys talk about it the more this friendship is going to get worse, it's true since the problem is still new, so careful not to keep mentioning that problem up and consider it as past if you want to be friends with him.

    This type of guys prefer to avoid and forget problems as much as possible to go back to their comfortable zone. he doesn't seem that bad person at all and he sounds to be a lazy person...
    so if you want to be friends with him go ahead with no worries it will work out,
    but I doubt a relationship would work in the meantime.

    Good luck.

    • thanks for you opinion.
      He is the guy who will treat friends better than gf, I guess. Fortunately , I am the same type of people, I would like to be more comfortable and behave more naturally when I'm with my friends.
      I actually talked about our relationship or made something clear to him before, obviously he expressed not comfortable when discussing those with me.
      I definitely know that do not mention anything, about him, myself, or ourselves since now. I will feel not bad if he really want to be friends with me.

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What Guys Said 2

  • So far that guy seems weird to me. At any rate, why would I want to date a girl, then suddenly just want to be friends, yeah sure, maybe if I was in Elementary or Middle school.

    • cuz he just want to have sex, have someone company with him nearby, he need more control on girl, he enjoys dating with multiple girls, but do not have to take responsibility, with a serious relationship with any girl, maybe some girl one day, but not me. he really sounds a jerk, isn't he? I do not know why he still bother me, he knew I was mad, totally ignored him, isn't obvious I want to end our relationship? he sent me another two pics, and never message after the sorry message, and then he drove away to have fun again

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    • I have changed my phone number in the past just because I got lots of junk "ad" phone calls. Surely you can do something similar. To make a long story short, either he's not a friend of yours or he's not a friend you need.

    • it might not a quick and easy way, I am trying to not see his message any more, when his message not seen, he won't send a new one, I guess, he does not really like me, so he won't keep sending message for a long time, just in a few days, see if it works out, he will completely disappear, cuz that girl he cannot take advantage at all

  • You made an excellent choice. What a poor excuse to break up with you, obviously he wasn't ready to date. He wasn't straight forward when he broke up with you. Now he wants you're attention. Gj!

    • And no, it's not good to be friends with you're ex, even if you're the heart crusher or not. This is my opinion.

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    • Haha, thanks! I am really happy that I get out of bad relationship soon, and hear from other people like you, I am strong enough!

    • Yes! Other people thoughts help, well sometimes lol.

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