I have misanthropic tendencies. Am I screwed?

I fell in love with the love of my life. One good day, she decided to dump me without any sound reason. After a while, she came back to me but I ended up discovering she cheated on me (I consider it as cheating because there was a time she left for her country for holidays and we haven't break up yet). When I found that up, she dumped me again by e-mail. I've always been a mysterious, introspective, not really talkative, not-so-often-smiling fellow, and in general terms, I prefer to be alone, reading, watching movies, writing than parting and related stuff. I can tell that girls often flirt with me. After the girl I mentioned dumped me, I was "able" to be involved with some women: a classmate of mine which after hooked up told me "she was sure we'd end up f***ing"; a girl that allegedly told a friend she liked me; a colleague whom I've met after a while, she told me she used to refer to me as "the beautiful"; in the last new year's eve, a girl I met that very night whom I barely talked with and didn't reject my attempt to kiss her; 2 random girls in a Beer fest; a girl I met on-line who I had a date with that told me she didn't understand why a guy like me would've needed a on-line dating service. I think I'm not bad-looking but since I always show unintentioanlly a fierce expression on my face, people tend to be afraid of talk or ask me anything. The other day a very beautiful lady approached me and ask me in Spanish (I'm a native speaker) my name, my age and suddenly she said that she loves me. I'm attracted to this girl but my friends say that since the love of my life had dumped me, the funny, romantic, sympathetic me has fade away and instead a darker, sarcastic, black-humor-fan yet still funny and witty version has taken its toll on me. I like this "new" me as I see things more objectively but I'm afraid that is risking my social and dating life. Am I condemned to be alone forever?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course not! You just find someone who's as sarcastic as you are and once you get out there and start dating again your other you might come out again. Give it a go. :)

    • Would be great to find a partner in crime, but it easier to say it than actually making it real :D

    • Haha that is true, an ideal partner is hard to find.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't go throwing around a diagnosis like 'misanthropy'. Have you been diagnosed with this? You sound more scorned or bitter because of that past relationship. Maybe finding a therapist to help you work through your feelings of resentment would help. Dealing with it can only increase your chances of being happy with a new mate. Good luck! :)

    • Misanthropy is not an illness. I just can say that I researched the subject and find my attitudes and general vision of life closely related to the precepts of it. Just for the record, I was scorned and bitter before the relationship. My friends say that during that relationship I was practically puking effing rainbows. Normally I would not like to go through life like that. I am still intimating with women but I do not feel like really dating or being attached to a certain girl.

    • Show All
    • A misanthrope is a person who hates humanity. It isn't used to describe someone who hates at random, or alters their personality while being in a relationship. People who are introverts, or shy, are not necessarily misanthropes, and neither are pessimists. People have used the term incorrectly to describe their feelings while not fully understanding the level of hatred for humanity to be a true misanthrope, as they still embrace a need to fit in socially. To hate all of humanity is abnormal thinking and abnormal thinking is a mental disorder. I did not say it was an illness.

    • Ha, actually I did. :)

What Guys Said 2

  • I don't even know where you're getting this "misanthropic tendencies" from... you just sound like an introverted person who's somewhat bitter about a breakup. Maybe you are taking a new approach to how you interact, nothing wrong with that.

    You seem to be able to recall instances where girls have shown an interest so you do like people, you just want to feel safe, perhaps a guarantee that you won't get burned again. Those were all direct statements, who knows the amount of women whose signals went right over your head.

    Personally I think you have some low self-esteem right now, which is why you're thinking negatively and the only strengths you can come up with are recollections of females approving of you. You need to provide positive ideas about yourself before you can get anywhere further in life.