Cold shoulder... how to deal when your partner is ignoring you?

Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner gives you the cold shoulder when they're upset instead of talking to you about it?

What do you do to deal with it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • My last love interest started becoming cold / detatched etc... and almost acted like the only reason she communicated with me was just to be nice... LESSON I've LEARN... dont chase them... back off for awhile... they need to understand that even though you care... its their decision to be non-existant for awhile... thats how he wants it... well he gets it...

    Me personally... i have a tendancy to go off somewhere alone and isolated when im hurt... but thats only after I've tried my best to get through bad situations until I've temporarily given up...

    If anything you could just quietly put your hand on their shoulder as a sign that you care... but dont interupt their little pouting session... it makes it worse...


Most Helpful Girl

  • That's honestly the worst thing. I hate that, I am the type of person who wants to discuss it and find a solution to the problem instead of letting it blow over. Most of the times talking about it could solve so many problems and you get to know one another so much better for it as well. I can see that it's frustrating, especially if they're not being reasonable enough to be civil and have a chat to you about it. I would say just let them cool off, and once they do, don't accuse them or anything for giving you the cold shoulder but rather just let them know that in future if there is ever such a situation again you'd like to handle it differently, and that you'd like for them to open up and not be afraid to be honest about their feelings. If they are mad, they should be mad, and speak up so it can be resolved.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I just went through that with my ex! Every single time she would do this to me! I didn't know what to do, if I asked if she wanted to talk about it, it would only push her away from me more. The best thing to do is give each other some space now when this happens. Just so you two have some time to realize what the problem was and then after a moment or two come together and calmly share what was bothering each other then resolve the issue from there. If you keep nagging them to talk about it, not saying you do. They're gonna run and they're gonna fast. It sucks for them not coming to you when something is bothering them. But that's just how the person is. I find that it is not fair at all. But what can you do, nothing besides give them time

    Answer mine please if you have some time :)

  • What problems are you having? I ask because I became cold and distant from my ex girlfriend. I didn't choose to, I just naturally pulled away from her. Why? Because certain issues we had were not up for discussion, it was her way or the high way! There were issues I just couldn't ignore but she wasn't willing to compromise so after a few discussions and her not budging (in fact she often belittled and threatened me) I stopped talking about it. I guess over time as I couldn't talk about the things that were affecting our relationship I stopped talking almost completely as nothing else seemed to matter to me. I don't think for one second you are like my ex but has he ever tried to speak to you about something and you have brushed them away as irrelevant. Usually someone becomes distant because they either don't know how to talk to their SO or they fear being spurned. In my opinion just bluntly ask him what is wrong and when he tells you be ready to help him deal with it and if need be compromise. My ex would say 'you never talk to me', 'god what is wrong with you' etc and even then I would tell her and she would just say if you don't like the way I am go and meet someone else. There was no compromise and in the end she left me because I became a moody, quiet and boring bloke, Why? Because she didn't want to listen or compromise. It is usually never as simple as someone playing a game or ignoring you, they are being distant because they too are hurting somehow.


What Girls Said 1

  • No, but when I told my close guy friend who had been flirting with me that I like him, we went awkward and he gave me the cold shoulder. How we became friends again? I let him be immature and not talk to me and hung out with different people and tried to seem like I was enjoying myself, even though deep down, I felt like crying (he doesn't need to know that ;) )

    And after a few weeks, he finally came around and even though we aren't the same, he isn't giving me the cold shoulder anymore.

    You could try something similar with your boyfriend. Don't let it bother you. Does he even have a reason for doing so? Since you in a relationship with him, you can ask if something is up.