Am I wasting my time or could this really become a relationship?

I have been seeing this guy for about a month and a half. He is a very sweet guy. We talk everyday and I see him almost every weekend. We don't live very close to each other and we both have crazy work schedules.

About a week ago we had a conversation about what was going on between us and he said that because of his last two relationships ( one he was cheated on and ended in divorce and one he was controlled) that he " had a hard time trusting women and wasn't ready for a relationship yet." But he wanted to get to know each other better because he liked me and thought I was nice and enjoyed spending time with me.

I know that normally I don't want a relationship means I am not interested in you but this guy has me so confused. He still wants to see me and we talk everyday.

Is this a waste of my time and I am being played or does he really need some time and this could end up being something in the future.

He and I also talked about that neither of us are talking, dating, or messing around with anyone else and don't plan to


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he's telling you the truth, but it could turn out to be a waste of time as well. Just take it for what it is. Also, if he's not ready for a relationship yet, then there's no point in tying yourself down to him or be exclusive. It's one thing when you're both progressing toward that and it's early. But a month and a half in and he's said it straight he doesn't see it happening yet. He's looking to keep things casual.

    I wouldn't stay exclusive to a guy like that, personally. It'll cause more hurt feelings for you. If he starts to change his mind, then by all means. But right now? You could likely end up feeling used. Just because he's not planning to talk, date, or mess around with anyone right now, doesn't mean he won't change his mind at any second and act on it. That's a large part of his reason for avoiding commitment.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 2

  • You need to be seeing other guys as well as him. Don't rely on him to be relationship material because as of right now he's not. Just keep your options open

  • It is what he said. He wants to get to know you more without the bfgf label. Give him time and its better for both of you to take your time and see how it goes

    • I just feel like he is pulling away more lately. We got really close really fast and I think it scared him. I think I am just scared he is going to run because when we are together there is 100% something there and I think it scares him to feel something for someone again

    • Hmm all the more to take things slow. But are you okay with this set up?