Have you ever dated someone that was perfect for you in every way but you just weren't feeling it?

I recently dated someone for a while that was everything I ever wanted in a guy - handsome, smart, funny, kind, good in bed... but I wasn't feeling the "love vibe". I broke it off and its haunting me. Maybe I am used to unhealthy, emotionally unavailable guys and I keep letting the good ones get away! Or maybe I am scared of the possibility that a really nice guy could truly love me. Anyone else been through this? Guys and girls...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey (: I went through this earlier this year. A friend of mine revealed his feelings for me in February and he said absolutely everything a person can say to make you fall for them. He was absolutely genuine and you could tell he really liked me for me rather than my physical appearance as most guys who are interested in me do. I also found him physically attractive and I was definitely considering it. But, like you, I didn't feel the vibe or connection with him and I found myself with feelings for someone who was manipulative and somewhat emotionally abusive. As I grew and realized that the emotional abuse wasn't good for me, I longed for the relationship I rejected a good while ago, the one where I actually lost a good guy. That made me really upset but I now realize that a healthy relationship starts with two people who are genuinely interested in each other. So, I made no mistake and neither did you. Just remember to be more open and next time you could end up in a relationship with someone who genuinely cares about you. Best of Luck and God Bless!

    • That is the story of my life, rejecting the nice guys for the narcissistic assholes who end up doing a number on me! I look at this guy I broke up with and it kills me - I know I need to get healthier before I can appreciate a wonderful man. Maybe we'll connect again in the future, who knows. I agree that for whatever reason, if the chemistry is not there on your end, it won't work so its unfair to lead someone one and end up hurting them in the end. I feel like such a terrible person... dating can be so awful and painful.

    • I definitely understand you and to be honest, it was almost refreshing to scroll down the questions and see this question because it was great to see someone who seems to have a sense of what I've been through and what I go through.

    • Thank you so much for the 'most helpful opinion' super appreciated!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You = My nightmare. ~ But it is totally normal for you ladies to have such an experience. { Its great that you were honest with yourselves and posted. } There is some magic, us "good guys" never learned, because for most comes into society via unstated instincts and suggestions.

    Here is the voodoo, our quiet thoughts drip through the words we choose. A well disciplined man, only things about sex and erotic ideas WHEN he actually thinks about sex and erotic ideas, so all the rest of the time what he communicates lacks that voodoo you do of "sexual position, sexual act, nearness, intimacy, nuzzle emotion, nearness" is missing in the words or sounds he uses or makes.

    People are rarely instructed, find this crazy chemical dropper. But as you get older some of you become aware of it like "hey, why did I get wet or so turned on?" ~ At University a lot of people mention to each other the "-in bed" sentence style. One girl gave me like five different endings imagine. But there are many more. English might call it a "dangling participle". All the while the mind is being tricked into thinking or completing an idea the guy is not saying or using, but somewhere in his head he has hacked how to get people minds and emotions to feel a little wet in response to whatever it is he is doing.

    Girls go back to these "nice guys" and learn to play word games with them. All there are missing is "Dangling participles" of wetness. ~ A few of us guys instinctively learned hypnotism before the US was ever landed. Dependable men who "pays bills" are "reliable and are faithful"... Girl you're silly if you don't buy Apricot Oil and have him do things until your body gives in to thinking him exciting. Serious force his entire hand in there is that is what it takes to want his babies. ~ I'm kind of mocking you, because I'm not sure any of you are ready for the amount of flirting women will start doing around him when his words start making you vibe wetness.


What Girls Said 1

  • Yes I have. He treated me right, had a good education, a great job and supported himself, he was cute but... i just wasn't feeling it. He was trying so hard to impress me and make me happy I felt guilty. He was actually trying to change his beliefs to suit mine. I knew one day that wouldn't las and he would resent changing for me. After months he wanted to get married which was obviously the last red flag.

    • It sounds like he was trying too hard and it acted as a repellant. He needed to be more comfortable with himself. I did that with a guy - I wanted to do everything "right" - I was accommodating, flexible, supportive, I baked/cooked for him, made sure the sex was always exciting... but in the end, he dumped me. I knew that I was trying too hard to be the perfect woman when, ironically, if I had just been myself and relaxed, we might still be together. You probably sensed his desperation and it turned you off. I understand where he was coming from and after my experience, I vowed never to do that again. Funny part is that deep down, I knew we weren't right for each other but I tried to force it.