How do I find out what his intentions are with me?

In a few weeks we've gone on many dates. He asked me if I am dating anyone else I said no he told me he is not dating anyone else either and that he is done looking because of me. He hasn't used the name girlfriend yet... does that mean anything? I mean we both know we are only dating each other.

But how do I find out what his true intents are? He's in his 30s. I met a lot of his good friends and his mom know about me. I still don't know him extremely well because how can I in just a few weeks? I was surprised he asked to be exclusive so fast but we spent many hour together and it just felt right. We also haven't had sex yet.

I just want to know if he could potentially see marriage and family in future. I know I already committed to him because it just felt right and I really like him. But if he doesn't want marriage and a family in the future or at least wouldn't consider it with me then I want to break up before I get my heart broken. I only date guys I can see marriage and a family with.

But I also don't want to scare him off. How do I approach this with him?


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What Guys Said 2

  • You need to go with your instincts here. You really do like him I can tell that. One thing is you need to not be thinking about marriage and family with this guy right now because such topics usually don't come up until there is a true love feeling there. He is not going to say "I want to marry you and have your child" anytime too soon for fear of scaring you off. He is older than you so he is moving slower and trying his best to respect you and your pace. One suggestion might be to tell him about a dream you had. (make a little of it up here.) Something like you were living in a nice home and married to a man much like him with a daughter and a son. Bring it up for other reasons than mentioning that like perhaps. I wonder where this beautiful place is in the real world or something. I hope this somehow helps and cheers :D

  • Time for the DTR, define the relationship talk.

    Seems like usually the girl initializes this. Ya know, it starts with "So what is this?"

    You won't scare him off if you make it clear you aren't trying to cling onto him, you just wanted to know the boundaries of what it is you guys are doing. You would like to see things progress, but this is an open relationship, you don't want to get caught off guard... yadda yadda yadda.

    • Well it isn't an open relationship because we are not seeing or looking for other people.

    • I'm just mean you say stuff like that to not scare him off. That you're merely curious and not pressuring him into a label.

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