Everyone is dating but are they happy?

Im 22 and I've never had a boyfriend, im always like i dont even know what i would do with him if i even had one.
I want one but I've never had a boyfriend so im maye afraid of showing my girlfriend side?

My closest friends all are in relationships and they are 22-24 and have dated their love ones for 2+ years.
Most of them always complain about how their boyfriends dont set their needs before them, or dont reply or dont want to move in etc etc.
Im guessing every relationship has some issues but it seems like its hard to be in a relationship at an young age when different parts want different things.

One wanting to move to study and one doesn't want to move, so thse things lead to breakups? sometimes im like oh gawd im glad im not them.

I want to be with a guy and settle when i know for sure that this is it. I dont want to date and to split up..

I just dont understand.. maybe again its because I've never had a boyfriend?

Recently i went on a date.. last Monday and it was nice but i just dont want to date out of desperation.. in order to feel like im on the same level as my friends.. wanting to catch up.. i havnt talked to the guy since..


Most Helpful Guy

  • I doubt that all of them are happy, but some surely are. When I have a look around, I'm married for many years now and very happy with my wife, then there are a few obvious reasons due to which people fail.

    They think "falling in love" and "loving somebody" is the same. As soon as the feeling dwindles, it's over. They think that there is somebody with whom that feeling never disappears. Well, it does, always. Love is something that needs really hard work from both sides. If one is not interested, then it's impossible to keep things working.

    They have the requirement to live the "perfect" relationship. I'm a pastor and marriage counsellor, but my wife and me had a counselor from the very first day on! Sometimes you just need the opinion of somebody who's not directly involved.

    Many relationships nowadays are merely sexual. People want to brag with their experience. I do not know much about this "culture" in the US, but it seems common to talk about experiences over there (here it absolutely isn't).

    And the complaints of which you talk I know from my counselling sessions with married couples. Most of those girls complaining that their "boyfriends" (that's no accidental quotation marks there...) don't put their needs first, would never do the same for their partners. In many relationships the girl dictates and expects the "boyfriend" to be happy with this - and then wonders why he suddenly lost his interest.

    In older times people would have learnt from the older generation what's important to make it work. Nowadays the older generation itself consists of a large majority which failed its relationships.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • I'm just like you.
    21 and studying in the last year of my med school.
    I just had one GF who left me and our 1 year of relationship for her abusive ex of 3 months, since then I prefer to be single. Why?
    Because when I was with her, I had to dedicate a good amount of time for her every day and because of that I lost most of my focus on study and working out but after the break up, my score went up and I'm in great shape right now.

    The thing I've realised from my break up that, most of the people now a days have temporary feelings for you unless you're a well settled person. They do not want to take responsibilities.
    So better to be single and focus on yourself rather than be in "no parmenant guarantee" relationships.
    Hope my answer helps ^_^

    • Very true :) last guy i datet in jan-february he got out of a 6 year long relationship last year and his ex moved on and is pregnant, and he is focusing on himself now and didn't have time for anthing serious with me :/ sucks but ye

    • Relationships requires lots of dedication and work and it's no guarantee that it'll last for long.
      So why do you want to bother? Instead focus on things which makes you stable and helps to support you through out your life.
      Relatioships comes second for me :)

  • You are still very young and you are also right in not dating just for the sake of it. Trying to force love never works. I know it can be hard to see everyone around you in relationships but (and I hate to say it) most of your friends ones probably won't last, especially if they are complaining about them allready. You can only convince yourself you have feelings for someone for a short time and your actions will show that you dont anyway if you were to ever get into a relationship with someone you dont have any attraction to

    • One of my friends she tells me that she thinks my first boyfriend will probably be my husband xD that would be fun

  • Remember that once you lose you innocence you can never gain it back...

    • What do you mean?

    • Show All
    • I have dated and been hurt, but yes i know what you mean

    • Good luck...

  • Yeah.. relationship at this age group result in a brk up 80% of the time so why bother? 25+ is a better age for dating since ur mostly at a stable life alrdy and there's no need to worry about other things.

  • i'm in my mid 20's and still single as well


What Girls Said 1

  • Nope , its actually perfectly natural to not understand breakups , dating or not they don't make sense and someone is always hurt. Do you want a boyfriend because you want to love or because you feel like all you're friends are settling down. Maybe your the type that been focused on things like college and job , carriers, exploring , hobbies, or just about anything you enjoy or do. No relationship is easy, and you don't want one that you feel tied you down from other things. If you've done everything you've thought you've need to then let love come knocking to you, and don't turn it down at the door. Some people say your better with more dating experience, but there is a such thing as too much, its harder to get out then in the relationship world , a one way emotional rollercoaster, that suck up all your energy until you find the right person.