Was I played.. is he slow, what's up with my story?

We started dating a month ago. Couple of times a week. He's been very sweet, considerate and affectionate when we're together.. when we're apart, that's a different story. After a few hints he made the big step and started calling, but it feels like there's some wall between us when we're apart. He just doesn't play ball in the communication area.
This weekend I noticed he's been chatting with me, but not offering to meet soon, so I backed off a bit, let him initiate it all. At one point all was going so well, I felt OK to send him a spontaneous sms for good night (1st time) to which he didn't answer. This whole thing pushed me even further away, so when we finally met on Monday I felt so disconnected from him, I couldn't even enjoy the moment.
So I brought it up, just expressed how I feel. He didn't say a word... I said sometimes I feel like he's not interested in me, but just the sex, to which he responded he wasn't sure... My big shock. I didn't react on it, but it totally got me. So I asked him what he'd like to do with all this, he said he's not sure of what he wants from us, but ultimately wouldn't want to stop seeing me.
I expressed my lack of intentions to be his f buddy, or his friend, as that wouldn't work out.. and so the conversation ended due to his lack of participation in it.
Before that we were talking about going on a date.. on Wednesday, but I assumed that wasn't happening.
Anyhow, didn't hear from him a whole day, Wednesday morning I get a "what's up?" text. So I answered it, but nothing substantial came from it. A test?
I don't know how to act. If he tries to reach me. I will not accept anything but giving us a real chance.
I don't know if it really was all about sex, it surely didn't feel that way all the time we spent together, except the last one. He said it takes him a serious amount of time to open up, and I knew that from the beginning, don't know if that counts after a month.
Is he evaluating me? Was I played? I'm so confused.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey. I have been in that situation. It is a tough one since he doesn't want to let you go either. From my experience, he sure does not want to be your boyfriend because if he does, he would have asked you already, and not said that he's not sure of what he wants from this relationship. Since you have already expressed your feelings to him, give it time. If he really does want to be with you, he will start. If not, end it soon because it is just a waste of time. It's just my opinion.

    • Hey, thank you for responding.
      Honestly I don't know if he even got me.
      Did you cut all connection with the guy? We kind of said bye, cause I had to go, but never really finalized this, so I don't know if it's ok to ignore his texts..

    • I didn't cut all the connection right away, but I actually acted differently. I replied his messages only like hours later, and even then, my messages were not friendly at all. If he said "what's up?", I would say "Nothing.". Believe me, he would want to text you more. That's what he did to me. He sent me messages all the time after that. However, I did not like him anymore because I knew if I become lovey dovey again, he would act indifferent again too. It's better to let those types of people go than keeping them around. Don't ignore his texts yet, but reply them late. don't reply them immediately. Since he knows that you really like him, he might be just using you for sex. Because if he feels the same way, you won't be feeling like how you're feeling right now.

    • Thank you, for sharing your story with me.
      Yeah, it's hard to trust someone after something like that, if not impossible.

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