Why guys wouldn't wanna date me? Is it my problem?

I'm pretty quiet in school and i dont really mix up with people in school. My friends all say that I'm pretty and when I told them I never had a boyfriend, their reactions was like stop joking with me. But SERIOUSLY i never dated anyone before and I'm going to be 18 soon. I always wanted a bf but I just don't understand why guys are not attracted to me. I had a crush before and he doesn't even look at me and he also says that he's totally not attracted to me and ask me to find someone else. I was so heart-broken that time. i had loved him for 3 years. :( I've always have a lot of guys saying that they liked me ( where i heard from their friends) but They just wouldn't make a move. After being single for so long, i grew tired sometimes. When I'm feeling down i have no one to turn to and i've always kept things to myself so that no one would notice that I'm feeling down. I get along with people quite okay but i rarely talk to them after a few conversations. I don't know why but i just couldn't find a topic to talk about with them. My friends were surprised when they heard I NEVER had a bf because even they had BFs before. So i was wondering why guys wouldn't wanna date me? when I'm at campus, many guys will look at me and smile when i'm in the cafeteria or in the library cafe and in the library studying. But I just don't understand why. pls give me some advise on this so that i can understand myself more and i can change myself for the better.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I notice the girls who care the least about getting a gf end up getting quite a few. I guess it's not always good to be desperate for someone unless the interest is mutual. If your appearance is into question, just exercise, stay away from coffee, don't smoke, don't drink (at least make it very moderate). Then stay away from sugar, you know the whole healthy food thing. Then exercise and sleep well. Once you're in good health, you'll have a clear mind, I'd say just forget the whole thing altogether and treat guys as you'd treat your other friends and then you'll have somewhere to start (being silent almost ensures you'll remain alone). And stop telling your gfs that you've never had a boyfriend, you need to learn to know what to say, when to say it, and what not to say etc. I'm surprised your parents didn't give you this advice, but you can look up online and read some forums, learn from how people think.

    • i don't tell them they asked me whether how many Bfs i had befoe while we were on the topic. :(

    • So tell them a lie. You're not supposed to put yourself in a weak position, and then again, if you know that they'll just pick on you, say 2, or 3, and if they ask more about it, just make up a consistent story: "I'd rather not say, the breakup left me feeling bad for a while" etc. Now, just do your research on guys' behaviours at teenage years, and also, focus on improving yourself. Guys don't always like girls who are very introvert, they want some kind of excitement (and I mean by that word, someone who is fun to be with). To be fun to be with for a guy, you have to be fun to be with you. That's as obvious as I can make it.

    • Okay I understand. I'll will do that thank you for the advise.. It really helps me :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • three possibilities

    1: i hate to say it but if you are fat and/or ugly and shy/quiet, guys won´t really care for you (i know it´s hard but i think it´s true to at least some degree)

    2: you look average but you simply don´t stick out so nobody recognizes you

    3: you lack social skills, maybe can´t carry conversations very good so guys think, you are not interested, if they talk to you.

    good news is, you can work an all that.

    • so true.
      1. i'm a quiet person. it's because i always get ignore by my friends when i talked to them and that's so not cool.
      2. because it's been a long time i'm staying quiet, it's gotten hard for me to stick out to someone.
      3' yeah i'm lack of social skills, i have to admit. i don't know what to say after i start a conversation. so if a guy talks to me after saying hi i'll just ans his questions and we'll be silence. I wanted to talk but I don't know what to talk about. LOL

    • You have to train those so social skills. Helps sa lot to care less in general. just talk about stuff that's on your mind. Try to smile a lot as you do

    • Okay I'll try to change myself a little hehe :)

  • My friends, even girls are surprised to know I never had a gf. We are introverts. The answer lies in being introvert. Until you talk openly and express yourself skillfully, even guys who like you, won't dare approach you. In my college days, I used to hear similar rumours about girls liking me, but no one came to me ever, and a hidden fact that lies is that guys are more cautious in first-time approaches than girls. So in my opinion, learn to express yourself and make yourself reachable to a larger number of people.

    • so how are you now? Have you started dating?

    • Show All
    • I suppose you are right, lets see how its turns out with time :)

    • Wish you the best of luck! :D

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