Im actually ugly.. I want to be in a relationship... I want kids.. My hormones are all over the place?

Im a 28 year old African American woman. Im very dark skin.. I have even been called precious by black men. I tried dating outside my race but those men aren't interested in me neither. I have tried online dating, but when they see my picture, I never hear from them again. I get messages from incredibly ugly men on the dating website. It does not take a rocket scientist to know that im ugly. Im tired of being unnattractive. I want to marry and have children before im 30. Excise my grammar because im being very direct. How can i attract decent men in my life? I have never had a guy flirt with me and when im out with friends, i notice guys looking at them and they never look at me. My self esteem is only low because men are not attracted to me. No matter how nice i dress, im still not attracting guys.


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is a mature man out there who is going to love you. I am not trying to be offensive, or rude, or creepy, but woman who lack what is considered beauty, make up for it in spades with their personalities.

    In the end, it is a woman's heart that keeps a man feeling like a man, long after her physical beauty is gone away.

    Are you a Christian? God knows who He has for you. He also has discipline for you, so it is not so difficult to bear your loneliness. I know I personally am still being perfected and matured for my mate. She is out there, but I do not know where. So I keep praying, and I keep waiting, having faith that God will arrange the meeting when it is time.

    Having a goal for marriage is fine, but how do you know the person will have laid the necessary foundation for spending the rest of his life with you in that amount of time? He might not come into your life until you are thirty- two, then what? Don't set end goals like that. They are unreasonable, and will leave you feeling depressed.

    It sounds like you are anxious, and that is a bad thing. It might drive you to make poor decisions that you will regret for the rest of your life. Take heed and seek God's counsel.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Confidence and self worth are key.
    There's a quote which I love by, it goes;
    The mind is everything, what you think, you become.

    By having that train of thought, thinking that you are ugly and unattractive, then that is what you will be.

    You need to constantly be telling yourself that your attractive and confident. It's going to take time because you need to basically rewire the way your brain works.

    Also negative input attracts negative output and vice versa. You need to change the way you see yourself and learn to love yourself before you can be accepted by another.

    Everyone is beautiful. Everyone was created and born to shine bright. You are no different. You just need to light that candle!

    • Thanks :) i can try, but in reality im still not attractive

    • 'Reality' only exists because you let it. The problem is that you've gone through 28 years of life probably thinking that you are unattractive and unconfident.

      It's going to take a long time to get your head thinking the right things it needs to. The brain is like a bicep or abs, you don't do a couple of sit-ups and wake up with a 6pack... it takes months of training... and your brain is the same.

      Try to think positive.

  • Work on whatever you can. Confidence, career, body, clothing, extroversion etc. The rest you have no control over.


What Girls Said 1

  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even though you claim you look ugly in your personal opinion, doesn't mean that all of the men do. Be more confident.