I'm just afraid... that's all. how do I change this?

initially, i am afraid to make it known to a girl that i like her. i think it has something to do with giving her the upper hand, thus giving her the power to hurt me. i am at a point in my life where i really want a girlfriend... i'm lonely. and i often find myself thinking "if you do this this and that, it'll make you seem cheesy, making it obvious that you want her" ... when really, thats the point. i am afraid to show my cards. i play it cool play it cool play it cool like 'hahah i dont give a fuck about anything', but i dont know when to stop playing it cool.

one of my closest female friends told me once that she thinks i act the way i act because i want to show people that nothing can hurt me, but they can and do. i will never show that something is bothering me unless its totally valid.

this is what is hurting me most in life and stopping me from having a girlfriend, i just can not be vulnerable, ever.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I feel like a lot of guys are like that. some of my exes have been like that, and it makes them impossible to understand. the relationship turns into a power struggle from both sides and self destructs because relationships can't be about power and who has the upper hand, they have to be about support and trust. until you feel like you can allow yourself to be vulnerable, don't get into a relationship.


What Guys Said 1

  • It's the fear of rejection just be yourself and go for it. if she says no then you move on that's it.
    You'll never over come that fear unless you get used to it.

    • no its not the fear of rejection at all, because sometimes even when i know a girl likes me for a fact i will be afraid to show her i do too!!

    • well its the same concept you'll never over come it until you try it a few times. think of this way. I'm not trying to show her I like her yet. start a normal conversation get comfortable have a few laughs and then go for it.