He leaves for college in a month?

We've seen each other as friends with benefits for a little more than a month, but we've been friends for four years. We finally had "the talk" last night about what's going on between us. I said I'm not sure what I want but I don't want a fwb, but I also don't want to stop seeing him. He said he understood that if it had to end being that he leaves for college in a month and I'm still a senior in high school. I asked, "so where do we go from here" and he replied, "I like you. When are you free?" He had also previously stated that long distance can be hard and generally doesn't work. He's going to be going to Temple which is about an hour-ish train ride so it's not like he'll be going across the country. Any advice on if this could work? Would it even be worth it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is rough. You need to consider if you can afford the time and money to see this guy. Train rides aren't free (that I know, unless I'm wrong) and an hour while not long, is still considerable enough.

    Could you drive? That would make things a lot easier. I personally couldn't do a long-distance relationship; I agree with the guy you like. However, if you feel it is worth trying, than go for it.
    The question is not whether we think this could work, or if it is worth it, but whether you think it is given how much you like him.

    • I think the train is maybe $10? But it's better than driving because his school is one of the stops. Like, you literally stand next to the football stadium while on the train platform. Which the next stop would be Market East (center of Philly). I don't want him to miss out on college hookups or having to constantly think if the other is being faithful, but I really am starting to fall for him. I had a crush on him the first time I saw him, and vice versa. I really want to try dating him but it might just be better to go separate ways.. I don't know.

    • Let me ask you something; a question people don't often entertain.
      While a long-distance relationship may make you happy, how will it make him feel? I bring this up because you said "I don't want him to miss out on college hookups or having to constantly think if the other is being faithful" which shows that you are taking him into account, at least somewhat. However, you followed it up with "but I really am starting to fall for him."
      A relationship must; 'must'; be fair to both parties. A relationship that is one-way will ultimately fail. Two parties must be willing, and able, to give. If one party is reluctant to give, or unable to give, than the relationship will inevitably fail.
      You need to seriously consider how this man will perceive this relationship. 'If you do not', (emphasis on that) then you may find yourself surprised if he cheats on your relationship.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If you like the guy then it is worth it. An hour train ride isn't that far away and you could still see each other on a semi regular basis. I think that friendships that turn into relationships are the ones that last and are the most fulfilling because you already know the person well.