Did I turn him off after we fooled around?

I met this guy online and things were going great. We had good conversations and we were both into each other. At least he seemed into me. I was definitely into him.

We met at a bookstore for our first date and ended up spending the whole day together.

We ended up going back to his place to watch a movie. The night ended well. I went home and he admitted to wanting to kiss me. I felt like things were really getting on to a good start.

A couple days later we had our second date. I went to his house to watch a movie. He was kissing me and we were making out pretty hard. I loved how he kissed me and how he held me.

I'm not normally like this, but I liked him so much I went to bed with him. We didn't have actual intercourse but he ate me out and made me cum. The first guy to ever make me cum, so it was wonderful.

My past relationships were with guys who weren't as experienced or just guys who didn't care about a woman's pleasure.

So I was blown away by his desire to please me.

I left his apartment the next day but he invited me over that night for another movie. We didn't make out or anything. I noticed he was distancing himself from me.

I made plans to see him the next week. But he cancelled our plans that morning of the day of the date to say that he wasn't interested.

I feel embarrassed, insecure, and down on myself for losing such a great guy. I've never been with a guy who was so affectionate and who wanted to please me.

I just don't know what to do. He told me he didn't feel like things were clicking for him with me and that although he liked me, he didn't have feelings :(

I'm pretty torn up about this and have been pretty miserable for the last few days. I haven't gone out or anything.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Perhaps he realizes he is getting closer to you and it scares him.
    You can't really say you were used... because he ATE you out.
    It's not like you gave him oral and he distanced himself.
    In a sense, you kind of did gain the upper hand.

    Because he is doing this to you... I think you should distance yourself has well and stop talking to him.
    All of us all only speculate why we think he is operating that way.
    Only he himself knows WHY.

    Sorry, this happened.
    Eventually you will find a guy that really wants you.


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  • Not to be negative - but in the past year, I have "dated" maybe 30 guys... and based on my experience, the more sexual he is at the beginning (and actually, the more he wants to please you), the more likely he is a player... even more so if he seems particularly experienced. If he's genuinely interested in you, he will be at least a little nervous and careful. Being "affectionate" is a part of their game, and then they disappear. Sad :(